chocolate!

I’ve been in the dumps lately. Deep dumps.

It’s as if an accumulation of everything now has me under a weight that I can barely lift off me to get up in the morning. I am not sure some days if I’ll be able to get Nede to preschool in time or not. Nights plagued with interrupted sleep and days of sweating and exhaustion have me crying out to the Lord, “how long, oh Lord?”

I pray for even brief moments of peace, grace and hope. I received that today.

Nede woke from her nap in the midst of a pretty loud thunderstorm. She has showed some fear of thunder in the past- running into the safest arms she can find. Today wasn’t much different. Upon awaking she was super snuggly and just clung to me and settled in on my lap. As I rocked her back and forth and we listened to “How He Loves” I reflected on where Nede would otherwise be. Afraid in a straw house with no one holding her? It was in that moment I too felt like I was being held. For a brief moment I felt safe like I couldn’t be touched, that all is going to be okay. I tried to savor it because even now I’ve lost how that felt. I am sure there were arms of love wrapped around me. In the moment, I was confident I was right where I was supposed to be.

Then, Nede abruptly ended it all by blurting out in a whiny shrill, “I want chocolate!”

She then ate chocolate during the storm. I think she felt safe, secure and loved.

happy thanksgiving

I've been trying not to think about the fact that today is Thanksgiving. If I allow myself to think too much, I run the risk of losing all composure not knowing when it could be regained again. And, as you know having a child see you lose it makes for a rough day and a lot of back pedaling.

I do love this time of year in my culture and I do want to reflect on thankfulness. Of course there are many things to be thankful for. There are all the obvious things but I want to share something more, something I have never experienced before.
This year I am so thankful for the people of Hands at Work and a community of support I have here in Mozambique. I fight tears just reflecting on the love and support I have felt from many.
It seems as an organization we talk about “community” and what it means to be part of a “faith community.” And, like many things, it’s easy to sit around talking about good theories and the way things should be, right? I am thankful that I have been able to be part of more than just talk. Over the course of the last 8 months I have shared many trials and triumphs with a few from Hands at Work who have been able to be here in Moz with me, and with many more through text messages and emails.
We have a phrase here that has been way over used, “Estamos juntos”, “we are together.” I used to sort of chuckle as it was said so often BUT recently I’ve seen it played out in my life. There have been many difficult things going on and it’s been remarkable to feel the love and support of people, who just because we believe in the same things, are now walking a difficult road with me. They have chosen to help me carry my burden and fight my cause with me. This, I marvel at!
We’re obviously not perfect, and yes we sit around talking about how to care for the vulnerable and what our role is in caring for the poor, but in that we respond the BEST we know how and we do it together. Because we, as an organization believe that “in the counsel of many there is wisdom,” I turn to this when I’m alone and in need of discernment. I am now praising the Lord with joyful thanksgiving that I am experiencing the body of Christ chasing after the Lord’s heart which is caring for the poor and vulnerable and loving one another. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of. I am thankful for the beautiful people who have been drying my tears and walking this road with me! I am SO THANKFUL for YOU!
[I tried to get Nede to sing a song, “Thank you Jesus” in her 3 languages, but, at the beginning she started singing her favorite—Happy Birthday (she must sing Happy Bday at least 15 times/day!) I am also not sure my uploading is working but I hope you can see a glimpse of her sweetness!]
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Enjoy every bite of whatever fills your stomach today and love on those around you. This done beautifully is so worthy of praise!

this is nede

I feel like this series of pictures tells a lot about Nede. She doesn’t lack in the personality department, as you’ll see…

 

Finally…a real smile!

“i want God to come here”

The other night after I read Nede her Bible story and prayed with her, she was tucked into bed and I was getting ready for bed. I was in the bathroom when I heard her say, “Sista Dara?”

“Yes Nede?”

“I want God to come here.”

I sort of sighed, not knowing how to respond and thinking how I too would love to be able to visibly greet God at the front door. I realized then how unprepared I am to answer these difficult questions of a 5 year old. In my feeble attempt I said, “Nede, He is here. He’s with us.”

Confused she looks at me and says, “Brother Marc is God?”

Oops. Um, no.

We’ll have to continue to work on her understanding of all this. :) Any suggestions?

(The power went out the other night and our freezer started to defrost. Marc collected the ice and made this snowman- complete with a carrot nose and all. I tried to talk to Nede about snow and I sang “Frosty the Snowman” but, again, it’s far too much for her little mind. One day she’ll see the real thing!)