happy birthday cousins

It's hard to believe it's been over 2 years since I said goodbye to my sister in her hospital room as we all awaited the arrival of 4 more to our family. It's also surreal to think that I'll come back to a family of 11 after leaving my family of 6. I long for that sweet day. And now on the celebration of their second year, Nede says

"Happy Birthday to all my cousins!!!"

And together we say, "Happy Happy Birthday!!!"

Lots of love from Auntie DJ and Nede. We can't wait to see you and hug you!

worship

I miss shopping at Target. I also miss scenting my home with Pier One Import candles. When I first tried to make this house, "home", I wanted a shopping spree thinking that "things", I like would make it a home. 

I still would like more cozy decor but God's given me something else.

I also miss being a single, footloose and fancy free young woman. Now I struggle to find even a few minutes to quiet my heart and mind to write or read and pray. Even when I find some quiet time much of the time I've found it difficult to open the Bible, difficult to read the Word without falling asleep or wanting to do a million other things. Finding ways to worship hasn't come easy. And when it has it's been quite simple, almost child-like. 

Cardboard boxes and Crayola markers:

This is the wall that decorates my bedroom. Now smeared from the roof leaking and rain pouring down the wall it's becoming plastered with promises and reminders that the Lord has given me over these last months and years. Some days simply writing a truth on a piece of cardboard has been the most holy thing that I can get myself to participate in. It's been through these few moments that I feel like I am really worshiping and communing with my Father.  I think it represents where I'm at-- desperate, child-like, simple, but always hopeful...always hoping.

I think God's okay with it too. This is the season I'm in. I'm asking many questions-- I'm searching for answers. My faith continues to become my own. It's different than just accepting what I hear from the pulpit.

It's real and it's mine.

It's simple.

he's crazy 'bout kids

I took this video of Nede tonight. She just loves singing life and making it up as she goes.

Later, when I put her to bed, we read from her Children's Message Bible "about when Jesus got angry". (Matthew 21:12-14). We spent some time talking about what makes us angry.

Then we kept reading.

The "loan sharks" and "dove merchants" were upset that after Jesus tipped over their tables in the temple the children carried on chanting and shouting, "Hosanna to David's Son!" The people who were jealous of the praise Jesus was receiving were now angry and looking for a reason to "accuse" Jesus. "Do you hear what these children are saying?"

I believe Jesus calmly responded with, "Yes, I hear them. And haven't you read in God's Word, 'From the mouths of children and babies I'll furnish a place of praise'?"

"From the mouths of children and babies..."

"From the mouths of CHILDREN and BABIES..."

I'm again reminded of how often Jesus emphasized the importance of children.

"...of children and babies..."

As I re-watch and reflect on Nede's song tonight (translation provided below;) I can't help but think about how serious Jesus was (is) about children. "From the mouths of children and babies I'll furnish a place of praise." I'm no Bible scholar, I don't know if I 100% get what he's saying here but...I think it sounds amazing. And what I remain SURE of is that God USES CHILDREN and Jesus ADORED them. And, if I'm to call myself a Jesus follower I NEED TO AS WELL. It's not suggested. It's not recommend. It IS!

I've recently been following some other blogs of single women who've adopted. I've been highly blessed and encouraged by this. I'm also blessed to have many friends here who've also done and are doing crazy things for kids-- taken them into their homes in what the world would say are under CRAZY circumstances. There are many people doing CRAZY things for kids (projecthopeful.org is just one example I admire). Tonight I'm left here thinking about what more we're called to do. Maybe these "crazy" people aren't actually crazy at all. Maybe this is what should be "normal" if we are a Jesus follower.

Because...

'From the mouths of children and babies I'll furnish a place of praise'. Matthew 21:16

[Jesus the little children they're singing
To Jesus
Jesus doesn't miss anything
If you see Jesus, run and give Jesus hug

(awkward pause)

Jesus, the little children they're singing
To Jesus
And Jesus doesn't miss anything
If you see Jesus, run and give Jesus hug

Jesus loves the little children
If you see Jesus you can and give Jesus big hug
This is a song for Jesus.
That's the end of the song.]

havin' fun with my cheap camera and one cute kid

my family

Hair seems to be a main focus of our life. Nature vs. Nurture??

"my stone"

Occasionally I sit with Nede and do a little Bible story and try to memorize a scripture together. Nede's got down 1 Peter 5:7, "Give all your worries to God for he cares for you."
Monday we tried to learn Psalm 18:2, "The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer." I realize that she probably doesn't understand what that verse means at all, hey, I'm not even sure I do! When I asked Nede to recite it the next day she hesitated and said, " The Lord is my stone and my Veggie Tale."
Oops, we don't have that one down quite as well. ;)

blessed are...

I stopped in my tracks this morning as I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes hang heavy, the crease from my smile line deeper than I’ve ever noticed, even when I’m without expression. Am I really starting to look haggard not just feeling it?

Moments later I remember words that resounded out of my own mouth just last week.

We went to visit Macadeira, the community I’m working with with Hands at Work, while there my Mozambican colleague put me on the spot saying, “Dara can give us a Word while we wait for the others to arrive.” Even though I know I should ALWAYS be ready for this because it’s unusual to NOT be asked to give a Word when visiting any group of Mozambicans, this day, I was not ready. To be honest I haven’t had any profound quiet times or times in the Word recently. I had nothing to share. With no other options, I took a breath and thought, “Lord, give me something to say.”

What followed wasn’t of me. I hadn’t intended to speak at all but now that I saw into my soul in the mirror this morning I think I needed to speak those words last week for myself, to remember today.

Matthew 5:3-10 The Beatitudes

   ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn, 
   for they will be comforted. 
⁵ Blessed are the meek, 
   for they will inherit the earth. 
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
   for they will be filled. 
⁷ Blessed are the merciful, 
   for they will be shown mercy. 
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, 
   for they will see God. 
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, 
   for they will be called children of God. 
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I'm reminded that that morning I didn’t read, “Blessed is the best nurse.” 

I didn’t read, “Blessed is the fastest runner.”

I didn’t read, “Blessed is he who is best dressed.” 

I didn’t read, “Blessed is the Mom of the Year.”  

I didn’t read, “Blessed is the bilingual missionary.” 

I didn’t read, “Blessed is the one with the cushioned bank account.” 

I didn’t read, “Blessed is she who is comfortable with her daily life.”

Instead I read and shared about many things that I feel these days.  I hope I don’t come off as ‘holier than thou’ but I feel crushed in spirit many times, I mourn things that I’ve lost, I would love to see less injustice and more righteousness (starting first within myself). I could go on…

But in this I’m reminded that I’m right where I should be. I’m right where God wants me. I’m headed to the place of blessing.

 No! I’m not headed there. I am there. I’m in the blessing. I’m living the blessing. And this MUST be my joy.

This I need to practice and receive.