I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love that it allows me to be in touch with far more people than I would otherwise be able to. I hate that I hear important life news by means of things like Facebook and text messages. I dislike that we don’t always get to look people in the eye and share news. In addition, we sometimes don’t even get to hear an audible voice in the delivery of important information. As much as I hate it, I have conformed to the culture and I am guilty of my very own convictions.
I love it because I often can’t articulate my heart verbally and on those days when I have something to “blog” about, I feel free. I feel free to express and share in a deeper way than I could without this modern theory of maintaining relationships. If I am not able to have the time or proximity to communicate with all I desire, at least with this crazy thing of a blog you can hear my heart, as cold as reading from a web address may be. I apologize for sharing via a piece of technology.
As much as I love and hate doing this, it is about as much as my emotions can handle some days.
I want to share with you the last few weeks of my life. As you have probably gathered from past writings, my return from Mozambique has been a challenge, a genuine struggle actually. It has been a battle, but not a battle without hope.
About a month ago, as I sat crying and contemplating life in a retirement park in Mesa, AZ I decided I needed to return to MN for a visit. This decision was made with the desire that in doing so, I would “feel” what was right for my future- settle (for now) in MN, AZ or somewhere else? A long story short, I spent a few days in Minneapolis (with 2 job interviews), Willmar, Duluth, Remer, Fargo. I then returned to Phoenix with the same uncertainty and not “feeling it”. I contemplated another week, celebrated a beautiful wedding of dear friends and then it came to me. “Dara- move so you can see Me move.” I’m not one to hear a loud, booming, audible voice from the Lord but I ask for it. I speak to Him and I expect Him to speak. It seems crazy, it feels crazy, but I finally came to the point that I knew it was the right time to leave- to drive away from what I called home for the last 5 years. In coming to this decision, I knew I needed to do it and do it quickly. I never do well with goodbyes and it would never be easy to leave a place I have grown to love. Emotionally, I needed to just go. On Monday, I decided that I would leave Thursday to drive back to Minneapolis and arrive in time for a scheduled interview on Monday, May 18.
I did.
I packed, I cried and I drove.
Now, here I sit in my new home. I have been here less than 1 week and I have seen God move, as He promised. I am living with my dear cousin 2 miles from one of my best friends from college.
I had been actively looking for jobs in Phoenix for a good 2 months now. My connections and network of friends and colleagues were helping. NOTHING was happening.
When I returned to MN for my visit, I spent time with dear friends who encouraged me to return to Phoenix and visit a Vineyard Church. I returned to Phoenix on a Saturday-- 11pm. I looked online for a near Vineyard Church. I found one-- service, 11am, perfect!
I went. I saw a former colleague from my hospice job. We visited. I was blessed.
The next Sunday I returned. We chatted again. I shared that I was contemplating a move to MN. She mentioned that she has a friend in hospice in Minneapolis.
Long story short, I moved to Minneapolis. On Monday, I receive an email with a name of a hospice nurse in Minneapolis whom I am to call the next day.
Tuesday morning I make the call and speak to a very kind woman who promises she’ll get my name out to a number of hospice agencies as hers doesn’t not have any current job openings.
One hour later, I get a call from human resources at her agency and they tell me they do indeed have an RN position they are looking to fill, I should fill out the online application.
An hour later I get a call back, can I interview tomorrow?
Yes, yes I can.
Wednesday, interview number 2 of the week (I had 1 interview in Phoenix in 2 months keep in mind).
Thursday, a call with a job offer.
Friday, I accept a full time position.
God was moving when I had no idea He was remembering me down here. Had I not returned to MN I would not have thought to go to this church. Had I not gone to this church, I would not have seen a former coworker. Had I not walked away from Phoenix in obedience and faith I would not have made the call, I would not have gotten an interview and I would not have been offered what I feel is a good job for me for now.
I didn’t plan to get another hospice job right now. My heart feels tired of the heaviness, but, with the way I see God having moved in my life I trust this is right where He wants me.
Here I am. He will give me strength when I am weak. I don’t always know where I am headed but I trust who is guiding me. While my heart is still in Mozambique, my presence is now in Minneapolis. God moved me here so stay tuned to what He is going to do next.
Whoever said being a Christian is boring? Walk by faith with me and “watch Him move.”
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
May 7th- World AIDS Orphan Day
As I continue to contemplate and wait on the Lord as to what is next in my life journey, I long for that sense of purpose I felt while in Mozambique. I feel disconnected and long to be in the midst of being part of something bigger, something important, something pleasing to my God. While I am here I pray for opportunities to be a part of what Proverbs 31:8-9 says:
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;
ensure justice for those being crushed.
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,
and see that they get justice.
May 7th has been dedicated as World AIDS Orphan Day. As I was thinking about this today I was heart sick. How sad. How sad that we have a dedicated day to raise awareness to such a specific thing. It's not just a day to bring awareness of a disease. It's not just a day to remember children. Specifically, it's a day to remember children who are orphaned related to 1 disease. Even worse, we have to have such a day because much of the world is ignorant that this pandemic is actually occurring. I was reading online today about this awareness day (check it out: http://www.worldaidsorphans.org) and I came across an article that is about the very place I was in Mozambique. My heart broke as I read, knowing so well who and what the article was referring to. Suddenly my experience was not just mine but it is SUCH a problem that many organizations are present there and are writing about this desperation. Please read this article, my cries are not just my own, read others words as well: http://www.plusnews.org/Report.aspx?ReportId=82033
When I talk in depth to people about my experience in Mozambique I realize that I often don't tell a lot of joyous experiences. It is often depressing, convicting, and heart-wrenching. Today as I was catching up on the Hands at Work website I was reminded of the glorious things that did occur during the year.
During the deepest valley I walked through while in Mozambique, not knowing what else I could do, I wrote a letter to a church in California crying out for help in the midst of hungry season. I learned today just how hugely these people responded. I didn't necessarily know this was happening at the time but PRAISE GOD that people heard of a need and did something.
A similar thing also happened when I wrote on my blog the desire Carlos had to get clothes for the orphaned kids we visited. I posted a need and individuals responded and I was able to be part of a tangible need being met! I am sorry that I too easily over look these great works that God did over the course of the year.
And now again, I want to be a voice. On May 7th I want to challenge all of us to do something, to remember World AIDS Orphan Day. I don't have anything specific I am ask anyone to do but I am asking you to DO SOMETHING. There are many great organizations to get involved in that allow you to make a HUGE difference in the life of a child. Think of the individual, the masses are too overwhelming. Think of the ONE you can touch. I hear all to often people using the excuse, "I want to get involved but I want to give to a place that I know my money is going to the people that really need it." I think this is a poor excuse. If we are that concerned about our money then do some research and find that place you can trust. I have had personal experiences where I see money going to the heart of the most vulnerable. Besides, if you can figure out away to eliminate administration costs, overheads, bank transfer cost and conversion charges, let me know and we can go and make a difference. Also, the money doesn't go from your pocket to the poor, someone has to actually do the work that we aren't directly willing to do!
Please, on Thursday will you take sometime to DO SOMETHING . Commit an hour to praying for children affected by AIDS. Fast for these little ones. Decide you're going to sponsor a child (http://www.compassion.com). Donate to Hands at Work http://www.handsatwork.org/ or another organization you believe in. Check out http://www.showhope.org, an organization dedicated to helping people adopt orphaned children. Commit to something that is already happening in a local church.
I don't care what you do, just do something!! Enough with the talk. Let's make a difference. It WILL make a difference. It will, I believe we have to do something. I guarantee whatever God lays on your heart to do, it will not be done in vain. He will honor you for your awareness and obedience. What greater joy are we looking for than to make a difference in the life of a child affected by AIDS. Imagine, what if being an AIDS orphan was your story, your child's story, or your best friend's story. Wouldn't you do what you could to help?
After you do something, share it with someone else. Imagine the impact we could see if we all did SOMETHING and we challenged a few of our friends to do something as well! I want to make a difference, don't you?
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves;
ensure justice for those being crushed.
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless,
and see that they get justice.
May 7th has been dedicated as World AIDS Orphan Day. As I was thinking about this today I was heart sick. How sad. How sad that we have a dedicated day to raise awareness to such a specific thing. It's not just a day to bring awareness of a disease. It's not just a day to remember children. Specifically, it's a day to remember children who are orphaned related to 1 disease. Even worse, we have to have such a day because much of the world is ignorant that this pandemic is actually occurring. I was reading online today about this awareness day (check it out: http://www.worldaidsorphans.org) and I came across an article that is about the very place I was in Mozambique. My heart broke as I read, knowing so well who and what the article was referring to. Suddenly my experience was not just mine but it is SUCH a problem that many organizations are present there and are writing about this desperation. Please read this article, my cries are not just my own, read others words as well: http://www.plusnews.org/Report.aspx?ReportId=82033
When I talk in depth to people about my experience in Mozambique I realize that I often don't tell a lot of joyous experiences. It is often depressing, convicting, and heart-wrenching. Today as I was catching up on the Hands at Work website I was reminded of the glorious things that did occur during the year.
During the deepest valley I walked through while in Mozambique, not knowing what else I could do, I wrote a letter to a church in California crying out for help in the midst of hungry season. I learned today just how hugely these people responded. I didn't necessarily know this was happening at the time but PRAISE GOD that people heard of a need and did something.
A similar thing also happened when I wrote on my blog the desire Carlos had to get clothes for the orphaned kids we visited. I posted a need and individuals responded and I was able to be part of a tangible need being met! I am sorry that I too easily over look these great works that God did over the course of the year.
And now again, I want to be a voice. On May 7th I want to challenge all of us to do something, to remember World AIDS Orphan Day. I don't have anything specific I am ask anyone to do but I am asking you to DO SOMETHING. There are many great organizations to get involved in that allow you to make a HUGE difference in the life of a child. Think of the individual, the masses are too overwhelming. Think of the ONE you can touch. I hear all to often people using the excuse, "I want to get involved but I want to give to a place that I know my money is going to the people that really need it." I think this is a poor excuse. If we are that concerned about our money then do some research and find that place you can trust. I have had personal experiences where I see money going to the heart of the most vulnerable. Besides, if you can figure out away to eliminate administration costs, overheads, bank transfer cost and conversion charges, let me know and we can go and make a difference. Also, the money doesn't go from your pocket to the poor, someone has to actually do the work that we aren't directly willing to do!
Please, on Thursday will you take sometime to DO SOMETHING . Commit an hour to praying for children affected by AIDS. Fast for these little ones. Decide you're going to sponsor a child (http://www.compassion.com). Donate to Hands at Work http://www.handsatwork.org/ or another organization you believe in. Check out http://www.showhope.org, an organization dedicated to helping people adopt orphaned children. Commit to something that is already happening in a local church.
I don't care what you do, just do something!! Enough with the talk. Let's make a difference. It WILL make a difference. It will, I believe we have to do something. I guarantee whatever God lays on your heart to do, it will not be done in vain. He will honor you for your awareness and obedience. What greater joy are we looking for than to make a difference in the life of a child affected by AIDS. Imagine, what if being an AIDS orphan was your story, your child's story, or your best friend's story. Wouldn't you do what you could to help?
After you do something, share it with someone else. Imagine the impact we could see if we all did SOMETHING and we challenged a few of our friends to do something as well! I want to make a difference, don't you?
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