I have been thinking lately that I need to write more happy things on here. I don’t want to sound like I am depressed (I am not) or pessimistic. I have been contemplating my days thinking- should I write about this, should I write about that? It seems that most things that really are tugging on my heart are things that may be viewed as quite depressing. I am afraid that this message may not be much different. Thankfully, in the midst of these experiences, God is encouraging me, He is offering me hope. It ends well.
I didn’t sleep well last night. It could be due to the fact that it stayed close to 90degrees in my room all night and my mosquito net felt more suffocating than ever or it could be as a result the images that I couldn’t get out of mind; likely a combination of both.
Yesterday I did home-based care in Gondola. I was with a couple volunteers whom I haven’t been with many times before. There was no translator available- sure to be a challenging day. We walked to the first home. I caught a glance of a baby being held by a mother. I just saw a glimpse of the babies head and thought to myself, “Oh great. This baby is really sick, now what am I suppose to do?” It sounds cynical but without a nursing license to allow me to do anything, and without being able to communicate exceptionally well, I feel like my hands are tied. The burden is there and I often ask, “Lord, how?”
We all sat down in the shade on a grass mat. The mother sat with her baby. If the baby wasn’t cuddled up next to the mom the babe would let out a cry- not too loud or long but she made us aware she wasn’t comfortable. As the cloth was removed from this small body, I was thinking- what are we going to do? What can I say to help this situation right now?
There we were, all eyes on me, looking at a textbook like child with critical malnutrition. I first wanted to ask questions. Then I wanted to be able to give advice. I could hardly do either. I was praying in my heart that this mother would allow us to help her in this desperate situation. The mother would hardly look at me.With desperation, shame, and despair on her face, reluctantly she allowed us to take her 1 year old child to the hospital. She needed to wait at home for her husband and 3 month old child to return. Imagine having no money, a 1 yr old and a 3 month old; obviously, someone would go hungry.
I prayed many prayers as we drove to the hospital. Thankfully, we were attended to immediately and they admitted the child. Praise God- they have hope and didn’t turn us away. I don’t know what will happen now. I do know it is by God’s grace that this child is still alive. I can’t explain how she has made it to this state- skin peeling off, infected, oozing; feet swollen and expression- listless. I don’t know… I can’t get the image out of my head.
I woke this morning tired and thinking about this baby. I prayed for encouragement. I needed it this morning. I opened my Bible and was blessed. God heard my cry. I read from the book of Habakkuk (I never knew there was such good stuff in there!)
I read what seems to be a theme for me right now. Habakkuk 2:20, “But the Lord is in his holy Temple. Let all the earth be silent before him.” A bit later in the book it says in ch3 vs2, “In this time of our deep need, begin again to help us, as you did in years gone by. Show us your power to save us. And in your anger, remember your mercy.”
The book ends with these words, “Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty (hungry season?), yet I will rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains” Hab 3:17-19
With those words, I could face another day today.
God is in his holy Temple.
In this time of deep need…help us Lord.
I will rejoice in the Lord.
The Sovereign Lord is my strength!
Awe, thank you Lord!