MERRY CHRISTMAS

From Mozambique to your heart-- Merry Christmas from the Vanden Bosch's! 

We're overwhelmed by the prayer support and love we've felt over the last many days (and years!). We can't keep up with the emails but we must say thank you to all of you! More importantly we're praising the Lord for all He's done in 2013-- more than we ever dreamed of. Thank you Jesus! 

christmas this year

I've been thinking a lot about Christmas, as we all have been.
This year I'm thinking about what I want it to be as we start traditions as a family of 3.
I love traditions. I even love the ones that may have totally fallen away from Jesus-- like shopping and wrapping and cookies and lights.
Each year I try to "be" different but I'm not sure any year if I am at all.
We've been busy-- we've baked cookies.
We've decorated trees (2 tiny artificial ones, our farangipani outside).
We have lights and there are presents!
And I'm loving it. I love sharing in Nede's anticipation as she takes down a link each day from our Christmas chain, I love all the hope and wonder and miracles I expect this time of year (this year especially!).
I also can't help but think about what this time is like for many of the neighbors around me.
For many this is a time of hunger, not cookies and hams.
For many this is a time of malaria, malnutrition and chronic disease, not joy and rejoicing.
For many it's a time of heat and humidity, rain and leaky houses not a white Christmas and sleigh rides.
Theft and burglary increases, not giving and receiving.
For many it's not "the most wonderful time of the year."
There must  be more Jesus in this somehow.
Where do we find it?
What does it mean for us?
I wish I knew.
I haven't figured out how to do Christmas here, or anywhere for that matter.
I love the anticipation and hope that builds up in my mind and heart this time of year.
All I know to do is to search those hopes, to analyze them and make sure that I'm trying, in all things, to give glory to God in the highest for EVERY good thing I have.
--To worship Him for being my savior and pouring his amazing grace over me. Every day.
Every moment.
This is Christmas this year-- watching where I put my hope, worshiping him the best I know how, wondering how to share Christmas with my neighbors here and watching for Jesus while we enjoy some traditions.
What is Christmas to you? Where is Jesus in it?

please go buy him some fish

There's been a handful of times, things I've experienced here, where I can honestly say, "that is a miracle."
Nothing more, nothing less-- an act of God that could not be explained by any human efforts. No medicine in any social-economic class could heal so quickly, no best surgeon could restore to "normal", no amount of money could buy wellness and no genius intelligence could dream up a solution. God did a miracle.
Remember the little guy that I wrote about a few weeks back? Weak as a newborn, small as a toddler? Almost the same age as my boisterous Nede.
We sent him to the hospital; he and his aged granny. All we could do was hope he got care that was adequate-- to give this little fighter another chance.
Much to my surprise, a week later we went to the hospital to visit him, he had been transferred to Beira, to the larger, more equipped hospital 4 hours away!
Right then we started praising the Lord because this boy had been forgotten. This boy, previously I felt, had been forgotten and left to his own devices (which was nothing.). And this granny, knowing nothing but war and hardwork, to you and me=suffering. She had nothing to bribe with, nothing to give but somehow it worked this time-- they received CARE! The system was helping.
Fast forward about 4 weeks more and our little friend was back on the veranda of our clinic. WALKING! Granny smiling P-R-O-U-D!!!! He gained 3kg while he'd been away. His swollen, inflamed jaw/cheek/whatever that was, approaching normal. SMILING!
Despite his grim diagnoses he's on the proper medication. He's getting the treatment that his body desperately needed. He is no longer forgotten. He is helped and THAT is a MIRACLE.
Before he left I slipped Granny some money, "please go buy him some fish" I smiled.

her aspirations

If you need a reminder that God is alive, doing wonders and giving gifts, remember back with me to one year ago. Nede and I had finally made it to America. I had met someone that I had hopes would become more than a penpal. 

Fast forward to December 2013, I head to Nede's end of the year program but this year, not by myself, not as a single mom. We're complete, we're a family. And then, I read the end of the year report and see this...

"When I grow up I want to be a bibale recorder to teech peepale like my Daddy to teech peepals about Jesus." Nede Portani Grade 1
Tears well and I realize again, Lord, you were worth trusting, in my darkest place you were there, with a plan, with a good gift, wonders in the works, may my heart never forget...

happy thanksgiving

First thing this morning he said, "Happy Thanksgiving!"
And, for a moment I stopped to listen to my mom cooking in the kitchen, expecting to hear the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, Dad'll be in his recliner. Oh, nope, not this year. And, a few tears are shed. I miss so much.
I head out with Nede to bring her to school because no one knows it's a holiday here. I greet my British friend and say, "Happy Thanksgiving!"
"Oh, it's Thanksgiving? Happy Thanksgiving Dara, what are you thankful for?"
And, faster than a race horse out of the gate I say, "MY HUSBAND! And the past year, and my daughter, and, and...." I could have gone on and on.

Because this year is full of Thanks. Two trips to America, one to marry the man of my dreams. So much to be thankful for.
To start our own traditions I spent the day busy, wanting to make today special when Nede gets home from school.
At the beginning of the week we asked Nede if she knew what Thanksgiving is and with attitude on her face and a wrinkled nose, you know the look, she says, "You eat TURKEYS!"
Well, not here we don't.
Tonight we'll grill burgers. We'll eat bacon wrapped green bean bundles, potato salad and three bean salad and finish it off with pumpkin pie and cinnamon roasted almonds, maybe even a pumpkin spice roobios latte! And, I know He hears but just to make sure He sees, we hang a banner that says, "THANKFUL!" Because, God, you need to KNOW this year, we are SO THANKFUL!

we're taking a poll

I was told marriage wasn't going to be easy. And I guess it's not. We're having some disagreements here.
It was all going fine and dandy until Chad has brought to my attention that apparently I sleep in, according to him, an impossible position. Now, unfortunately this isn't the first time that it's been brought to my attention, Deanna, as my college roommate made it clear to me as well. Apparently these 2 are convinced that it's absolutely impossible to sleep, comfortably and restfully, on your back, both knees bent forming a perfect isosceles triangle. Yes, they're supporting each other in the air. And, yes, I sleep soundly in this position. There is no need to announce, when I'm in a dead sleep "You're knees are up again!!!" (Thanks Deanna!) Or to be tempted to push them over, thanks Chad!

Another challenge in our marriage came the other day when Chad mentioned something about a "flock of mongeese." What? "That cannot be right", says Dara. "It most certainly is mongooses." Google agrees. Chad doesn't.

And, this one I have resolved, thank you very much you can see Orion's belt in the southern hemisphere!

So to help smooth over these 2 items of contention please comment  #1: whether it's absolutely humanly impossible to sleep comfortably with your legs in the position of an isosceles triangle (I strongly disagree with this) and #2: Mongeese or mongooses?

We're taking a poll. (And these are our biggest arguments, we're doing okay;)

"rice and fish please"

After about 11 months of bliss, butterflies and falling in love, I'm now back to working at the nutrition clinic. And yesterday, it was a bit too much. Yesterday life wasn't all as if I were wearing rosy glasses. Yesterday felt like an overdose of reality. Not "normal" reality in America. Not even "normal" reality of Mozambique. A typical day at the clinic usually means 2-3 of us nurses see 40-50 children who's mothers have died, or children who are HIV positive, special needs or are (or have been) malnourished.

Why did we see 4 severely malnourished children yesterday?

Upon my first arrival to the clinic I walked over to greet one of our workers. As I passed the baby weighing station I was stopped in my tracks when I saw a naked, wobbly-legged child standing helpless. A severely malnourished child. I walked into the clinic and shared with one of the other nurses, "There's a new child about 4 years old, SEVERELY malnourished waiting to be seen."

And then starts my internal battle, I hope that one doesn't end up in my chair. Mostly because I don't know what to do and what I can do doesn't feel like it's enough-- it's not.

He didn't end up in my chair, he sat in my dear friend's, and, as it turns out, he's not 4 years old, he's 7! Seven YEARS OLD! Immediate emergency siren ran in my brain. He's almost Nede's age. He is SO NOT NEDE! He weighed in at 12.4 kg (27lbs). Half the weight of Nede. And what got me the most? His eyes. His eyes!-- maybe because they're like Nede's, that of a fighter, a survivor-- his eyes still had life! His legs didn't have strength to ambulate him but his eyes had life! His sweet voice spoke in a whisper, "I'd like rice and fish now." His only request, "rice and fish please."

But, have I forgotten to say that his left cheek/face was severely swollen? Inside his cheek was severely necrotic tissue of some sort. Teeth/jaw bone/I-don't-know-what-was-going-on inside there-- infected, cancer, tumor, I don't know? No rice and fish today my little friend, sorry. And plus, we better treat your malaria too...

I was again, afraid. I didn't want to look inside his mouth for fear I wouldn't know what to do or it surely wouldn't be enough. But yet, I approached my fear and greeted him and rubbed his knobby little knee and asked if I could see in his mouth, he, without a grimace, kindly opened his mouth. And then, it was his eyes again. It was one of those that when I looked deep within, my breath gets caught, I almost chock, dry-heave. This happens to me periodically when I allow myself to feel, to be part of the situation, I see Jesus. I'm helpless and can't do anything but say, "Jesus help". And it's in these moments I know I'm right where Jesus says we should be, "Among the least" (Luke 9:48). And even though I know I'm with Jesus in those moments it's also those moments that I fight to not want to just turn my head, pretend it's not there and run away. I'd rather just stay behind my wall with my happy  family. It's the dirtiest, sickest, stinkiest situations in which I have to talk myself into not turning my back. Sometimes I even have to verbally encourage myself to "go on hold him even though he's soaked in urine and will likely wet you, he needs some love."

Of course I'm not at all proud of this initial, instinctive response, it just reminds me of how far I still need to come, how far from Jesus I really am. What hurts me the most about the boy yesterday is that he is old enough to know and recognize he was being neglected. He knows he wasn't being cared for and he's suffering. And there was a community around him somewhere that let this boy live this way-- malnutrition doesn't happen over night. And for this to still be happening, yes in a desperately poor country, but there is food around, there is access to help and food. This boy knows he'd been left for nothing and that's so absolutely not acceptable. So, even when my spirit wants to be like his neighbors were, to pretend I don't know this is happening would be utterly shameful and contrary to the very heart of Jesus. It is happening, it is reality and they need to be held.

(Out of respect and to maintain dignity for our little ones I don't feel comfortable posting pictures of such desperate situations. Hold them in your heart.)

you're going to be okay

(I wrote this about a month after our wedding, when I was reflecting in Belize, feeling an amazing sense of relief as I now share parenthood)

Of course I always dreamed of being married.
Yes, it was a desire since I was a little girl.
I worked through giving up this desire when I returned to Moz in 2010.
The desire had never left but the reality of the dream being fulfilled did.
So now, of course I'm ecstatic.
What I didn't know was the hidden blessing that was being fulfilled.
I'm no longer a single mom.
Yes, of course Chad is a magnificent blessing to me personally but to Nede and me collectively?-- PRAISE JESUS!
It's quite something what one can/does do when forced to.
I was a single mom-- a role I never imagined I'd be in and never want to be again.
My heart aches for single moms-- now more than ever.
It's SO hard.
It's the hardest and scariest, most important job anyone has.
As I look back, we made it, only by clinging to Jesus.
There were days when I would cry and my own Nede would hold my face and say, "It's okay Mom, we're going to be okay."
And we are.
I don't know the journey of all single moms' but I know "you're going to be okay".
We're with you and if I could (or can) hold your face and say "You're going to be okay", I would.
And, until then, I hope you're little one is.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE OKAY!
Cling to Jesus!!!!

(If I can be of support or encouragement to any single mom, there's nothing I would like more than to walk with you-- please email me.)

a year of celebration

Just over two months ago we had our wedding ceremony at Chad's church in Michigan.

Just about 6 weeks ago we had our 2nd wedding celebration at my parents house in Minnesota. 

Three weeks ago we had our 3rd wedding celebration here in Mozambique.

Because when God takes a young lady from Northern Minnesota to fall in love with a little lady in Mozambique who then quickly (well, eventually once they meet) fall in love with a young man from Michigan--it's worth celebrating! 

Because when you give up your dream of getting married to pursue adoption of this little lady and when you give up dreams to follow where the Lord is calling (to what seems like a no mans land)-- it's worth celebrating!

Because when you have family and friends all over the world who walk with you, pray with you and support you-- it's worth celebrating!

Because when God gives 2 people back a dream they had laid down and then blesses it tenfold-- it's worth celebrating!!!

Yes, this is the year of celebrating because one year ago today Nede and I headed to Maputo and were rejected a visa, devastated, we then met the man of our dreams and because of that, we're still celebrating! 

the colors of poverty

One of the first things that stole my attention upon my return to South Africa, which I've never taken note of before, were the clothes I saw hanging on the clothes lines in the townships.

They waved in the breeze, gingerly expelling their moisture as they showed off their colors. The dye was still present, the colors still radiant. There was red, there was bright pink, magenta and blue. This simple observation tells me that these clothes are new, new enough to maintain their hues. They haven't yet been washed in the stream of dirty water, been manipulated against a ragged rock to mimic an agitation cycle and they surely haven't been wiped overhead beaten on a rock to wring the water out; they haven't been worn and washed until the threads are bare and the holes out number the amount of covering surface area.

Conclusion: there's enough money around these parts to buy new clothes--periodically at least. The color is still in.

It doesn't take long once you get off the beaten path a bit, walk down a dusty trail and there's very little color. The mud huts are just that, mud. The children are dirty, from mud. The clothes are torn and dirty, from mud. The color of almost anything is the color of the dust of the land. The washing's been done in muddy waters in dirty places. In some areas there is no color left. No pretty pinks for your daughter to dress in. No baby blue to bring out your eyes. No red leather shoes to perfectly accessorize those favorite jeans. No color, just brown and worn.

These colors don't flap in the wind, they lay on top of rocks, on tall grass or on top of small bushes. No summer breezes of radiant color catch your attention in these parts. The colors are stripped, as are hopes and dreams. The colors of poverty represent the hard life-- a life stripped, of much.

This is what I noticed.

we are here

Nope, I didn't get married and fall off the edge of the planet. We have just arrived back in Chimoio and we're busy settling in. Nede's back to school and Chad and I have been busy making this house our home. Activities have included unpacking, shopping for a washing machine, and most importantly RAT HUNTING! So far 2 down. The little rascals made their way into our bathroom through the sewer and a new hole they chewed in our CEMENT bathroom floor! I know, how? My saying holds true-- Everything's bigger in Africa! 

More soon. I have so much to share, I have been writing some, just haven't gotten it up here. I'll summarize by saying that the last 2-3 months have been just amazing-- so full of blessings, we're in awe of all that God has done for us and of his faithfulness when we don't see the way! Thank you to all who have shared in our wedding celebration-- whether physically present or from afar we feel the support of so many and feel deeply blessed by you! All our love! xoxo

this week i will be wed

It seems ridiculous, really, that as I sat tonight, hearing songs that will be played at my wedding in 6 days, that I'm learning the biggest lesson of my journey so far. An elementary lesson...

I guess it struck me tonight because what's felt like a dream for the last 9 months is sinking in as reality-- the shocking difference is the state of my life from last year to now. Last August 19th, is still so vivid. The pain and difficulty, the struggle I was in the middle of, I think I can go so far as to say the "battle" I was fighting, still hurts. The place I was "in" still grieves me, still gives me that pit in my stomach, that headache that left me tossing in my bed, pleading to God.

It's so much more than just being "in love".

As I heard the songs we've chosen for our wedding celebration, I realized that I believe Jesus so much more than I ever have. I believe in a new way that HE LOVES ME! He showed me with his mercy. He SAVED us (Nede and me) by his GRACE! Alone. Only.

During times of immense struggle, he somehow gave me strength to keep clinging to Him, to keep crying out to him, to reconfirm to myself (on a daily basis) that my foundation is Christ-- somehow getting through that time now allows me to share today that I am 100% a new person this August 19th. He brought me through the dark valley and now has me shining brightly on another side! 

Tonight as I we sat hearing Chad's friends playing music, I remembered back to the words of Mana Heide a couple months back, "Dara, I so pray that the day that you stand before the Lord saying your marriage vows together with Chad, that the heavens rejoice so strongly that bonds are broken, that the earth changes. That this will be more than you marrying Chad, that your situation will change! You are victorious in Jesus name!" 

Oh, how I pray that that is true. As I continue to accept that God loves me SO much that I soon get to call this man my husband, it's my hearts desire that the praising and rejoicing that happens here this week shakes the heavens. I feel blessed beyond what my meek words can start to express. I praise God for the journey he's seen me through and it's my hope that we continue to praise him forever. And, that on our wedding day, the heavens will clap for joy,

Because, this week I will be wed, because He loves me.

he's mighty to save

We sang it in church yesterday, and I was again reminded.

Everyone needs compassion, 
Love that's never failing; 
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness, 
The kindness of a Saviour; 
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains, 
My God is Mighty to save, 
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation, 
He rose and conquered the grave, 
Jesus conquered the grave.

I remember when Jessica said, "I think this is Nede's song."

As I sang it yesterday I was assured that it is.

But maybe, it's our song.

Maybe even, it's more about me, than Nede. And, it's far deeper than Nede being "rescued" from anything.

It's about me. About how I was lead into a place where I had to surrender when I had everything stripped from me. At different times over the last several years I've had no "ability" to have ANY influence on my circumstances. I've not been able to influence anything/one to get the adoption complete. I had no idea how we were going to get a visa for Nede when I desperately needed to see my family. I had no idea how I would return to Mozambique to continue this journey-- I didn't think I could do it alone anymore. I had no idea God could bring me an American husband while I sat feeling "trapped" in Chimoio.

It's about me having to go through trials in order to be rescued because, I hadn't needed much from God until I had no strength left. I couldn't be rescued when I continued on in my own strength. It's about me when I actually needed a Saviour. It's about me and my faith.

He did and does move mountains.

And through this, finally being at a place where I had nothing left of myself, I was asking those hard faith questions. Up until the trials of the last several years, I believed because it's what I knew. It's how I'd grown up, it's what I had been taught. Now, I have a story. A story to celebrate. A faith that's my own, that's the rescuing story that Jesus writes. I needed to learn personally that He is Mighty to Save.

And of course there's more depth to this than just the big things I've listed. It's what God has told me and promised me in the secret corners of my heart. It's the comfort I now feel as we walk forward, victorious of our past. Knowing Jesus more closely and understanding him more personally-- as our mountain mover, our rescuer.

So...as I sit here, shoulders feeling heavy, I remember my mountain mover and I try (once again) to unload the burdens from my strength and give them to Him-- who hasn't changed since the last time I cried out, "Lord, help us!" Because...

Everyone needs compassion, 
Love that's never failing; 
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness, 
The kindness of a Saviour; 
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains, 
My God is Mighty to save, 
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation, 
He rose and conquered the grave, 
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me, 
All my fears and failures, 
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in, 
Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains, 
My God is Mighty to save, 
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation, 
He rose and conquered the grave, 
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see, 
We're singing for the glory of the risen King... Jesus 

My Saviour, He can move the mountains, 
My God is Mighty to save, 
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation, 
He rose and conquered the grave, 
Jesus conquered the grave.

My Saviour, you can move the mountains, 
You are mighty to save, 
You are mighty to save.
Forever, Author of Salvation, 
You rose and conquered the grave, 
Yes you conquered the grave. 
--Mighty to Save

rainy day cheer

Whose rainy day wouldn't be cheered up by this face?

amen

Sometimes, after being here so long, I forget to feel and evaluate the world. I get lost in the confusion of who I am and where I'm from and where I'm living and what I am now. My favorite author says it all better than I ever have or will, oh how I wish Ann Voskamp could be my friend:
http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/06/a-letter-to-the-north-american-church-because-it-is-time/

through the eyes of my child

While Sarah and I were inside having a chat Nede did a portrait of Tabita. I love that Nede went in the garage and got some charcoal to color Tabita's legs more accurately. 

we've come a long way

As the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so are my ways higher than your ways

    and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

On Sunday we celebrated. June 16th is, and always will be, a special day in our house. June 16, 2010 was the day Nede came to live with me. That was the day I called Rachel saying, "Rachel, she's here, now what do I do?"

This year is different from the last few. Now, 3 years later, we started the day with Nede making a phone call, "Good morning Chad, Happy Father's Day!" If there were a gauge on my happy-o-meter it would be like on the cartoons where the springs break through! Yes, it was a special day, even though we are on different continents.

Had I known 3 years ago that the valley would be long and hard but what was in-store would be higher and better than where I thought I was heading, everything may have felt different. I hope I'm learning through this and I hope you all, who've prayed us to this point, can feel the role you've played and celebrate the joy that we're celebrating. We've come a long way...

(Nede's first night with me, 2010)

(2011)

(2012)

my life is beautiful

Many times, probably more than I realize, I've written about what you do when life leads you to a place you never imagined. I've struggled trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do when I felt like life left me in place I never wanted to be in, a place I didn't know how to get out of. I've been in that place. I was "stuck" in that place for quite awhile, you all know this. I didn't see a way out and even though I'd been told, "It's not always going to be like this", I'm not sure I believe it. I wanted to accept that statement, but I couldn't help but feel/think "well then, how long is 'this' going to feel like forever."

Now reflecting back I'm ever so grateful I hung in there. I'm seeing that there was always just enough hope to keep me hanging on. I guess, really, deep down, I did believe the statement that God wasn't going to leave me in that seemingly desperate place.

And now, even though my environment and situation hasn't necessarily changed, my whole life has changed. Now I sit here pondering and thinking about how to live when you're life is so good. What a difference it is to find myself in this place, a time when I can't believe what wonders and miracles and beauty are in my life. What do I now do when I find my life seeming too good to be true? (What a more enjoyable place to be in!:)

I listened to a podcast last week that helped me sort through this. I know very well that I'm not worthy to be in this wonderful love story that I find myself in. I know that the Lord, once again, is showering me with his grace and covering me with his mercy, lifting me out of the pit that I had found myself in.

In a message by Greg Boyd entitled Crazy Love, Greg speaks about how Paul lived his life. He lived his life with a crazy love because he believed in a crazy beautiful gospel and a crazy wonderful God. Greg states that our culture/society/worldview has conditioned us to think that if we find ourselves in the midst of something that seems to be too good to be true, then it probably is. (I'm not saying that that million dollar sweepstakes you get in the mail tomorrow is real, keep reading.)

I've found myself feeling this way over the last 6 months of my life. When I look at my fiance and my daughter, my life feels too good to be true.

In Greg's message he's helped me straighten this out in my heart and mind. In summary, Greg says that if something feels too good to be true then maybe you're moving in the right direction-- embrace it. Because, "however beautiful you see God, he's infinitely more beautiful than that. However good the good news is, its infinitely better than that. The beauty of what you see will determine the beauty in which you live."

Wow! That's it. I serve a God who loves me in a crazy way. He's led me through a crazy life. But in his goodness, he's now given me a crazy love and if I allow myself to really reflect on the beauty of my Creator and Father, then yes, the beauty in which I see does make my life too good to be true! My life is beautiful!

Mae G: Inspiration

I'll call her Mae G. She used to come into the clinic a bit like the Tasmanian Devil. You knew her life was in disarray.

Born a month early, she couldn't tell her twins apart. Her husband had died leaving her to care for 3.3 lb twins, on her own with the occasional help of a 10 year old. Along with collecting firewood, hauling water, washing clothes by hand, working in the field to secure some food for the year, walking for miles to get to the clinic or hospital, visits to the witch doctor to look for some hope somewhere...of course her life would be in disarray. She tied strings on the children's ankles to tell them apart, often clothing them in 5-10 layers of clothing because once, as preemies, she was told to keep them warm. 

At one point, the twins were struggling so for life that Mae G was sure one was not going to make it. She kept on keeping on though, doing her best.

Last week when I saw Mae G coming up the path I said under my breath, "Oh, I hope I don't get them today!" But, to my surprise I was blessed beyond belief by Mae G and the twins visit. 

She did it! She fought, she did her best and she's winning! Her children have life. They made it.
I discharged them from our program that day. She doesn't need us anymore. She's making it at home. Perhaps we encouraged her. Perhaps we empowered her that she could do it-- that she must keep fighting when she was sure she was about to lose one of her babies. It doesn't matter what kind of an impact we had, what matters is that these kids have life! This life of disarray could have ended much differently.

 I couldn't help but laugh as I watched Mae G pack up her bag for about 45 minutes before they headed out the gate. I laughed in reading the notes that we wrote over their almost 2 years with us. How does this woman do it? Her life IS a storm. It's no wonder things felt chaotic when she sat in my chair explaining her problems to me. I wouldn't make it a day in her shoes!

As I watched them walk away, I was touched. I was moved by the strength of this woman. Out of love for her children she made the trek to our clinic every 1-2 weeks to receive milk to feed them. I would understand if it was too much time, energy, money to make the journey-- likely, at times, on an empty stomach, through the rain, and waiting ages for transport. I do not know how she does it. And though I chuckle at her chaos, really she's my inspiration. By the grace of God she did it! Well done Mae G. May the grace of our Lord Jesus go before you. And little ones, grow you little peanuts, you are loved! 

all in a days work

...and when there's no such thing as day care, what do you do with your kid? You bring them to work with you...

 ...and she continues to bond with her guard friend...

 ...and she bags milk to give to children who are now in the position she was once in...

...and she cares for and entertains the child who's mom is down with malaria...

...and she sits soaking in the situations, either falling in love with medicine or being scared away from it...

...and at the end of the day I say "Wow, thank you Father and thank you for letting me bring my daughter to work"...

the least of these

What if I really understood what Jesus meant when he said, "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." Matthew 25:40?

just because

Nede's just got a way.
She loves people,
And in turn,
They love her.
She's found her way into the heart of one of the guards at the clinic,
And he in ours.
This week he presented Nede with a bag of oranges.
Just because.
Just because they care about each other and smile deeply when they see each other.
And, in response, Nede gave up her sugar cane someone had given her just moments before.
Something she'd been asking for for days.
She passed her beloved sugar cane on to her dear friend.
Her dear friend, just because.
Just because they know what it means to love another.
And this, this brings great joy to my heart.

aids, malaria and diarrhea

He asked how it felt to be back working at the clinic.
I responded, "Well, I'm back to the world of AIDS, malaria and diarrhea."
I guess I knew it would happen,
When life slowed down enough and I was able to reminisce over the last 5 months of pure bliss.
It's quite weird though, isn't it?
Going from the land of plenty to now, where I'm debating and making decisions for babies, teeny tiny babies.
This week I held twins,
One 1.8 kg (3.9 lbs),
The other, 2.2 kg (4.8 lbs).
Mom died.
Now an auntie and an old granny are responsible.
They were well.
I sent them off, with milk for a week, to their home.
Probably a mud hut.
I remember the suburbs,
our family Christmas.
The zoo.
The aquarium.
Shopping.
Lattes.
Dinner out.
The pictures, the memories.
I'm still feeling quite jovial.
Still living in a state of gratefulness.
I still, after over 5 years, wonder how I mesh these two worlds--
One world of easily "forgetting" about the other,
The other always wanting to be part of the former.
My battle between flesh and my desires and
Living out what the Lord has revealed to me.
For now I believe I needed that family time,
the spoiling,
the JOY!
To hold these teeny, tiny babies again--
with hope.
Remembering that I've seen the Lord do miracles in my life over the last 6 months.
Reminded that He is my loving Father who gives good and perfect gifts,
in His time,
So that I,
remain grateful, faithful and leaning on Him!

(A mural that's been painted at the clinic property, a beautiful view for those passing by)

back "home"

We've made it back to Mozambique. After spending about a week in southern Moz at the beach we ventured the 1000km back to our home in Chimoio. Nede, as usual, has just taken everything in stride. Within minutes of our arrival home she was wearing her tu-tu, had most of her clothes out of her closet and was outside "cooking" in the dirt. Our guards welcomed us with open arms and Nede's been at a new school for 2 days and loved playing basketball and cricket yesterday!
We're still awaiting our internet to be connected at our house so, more when that happens. In the meantime, pray for us as we readjust and start facing the challenges before us once again.

happy easter

We go rejoicing and remembering each and every blessing that these last 4 months have held.
We go praying that this is a time of new beginnings and fresh starts.
We go with sadness in our hearts, looking forward to those waiting for us on the other side.
Yes, we go rejoicing--
Remembering the glory of Easter morning and that Jesus is alive in our hearts!
He goes before us.
We go rejoicing...

(Please pray for traveling mercies and strength saying goodbye to my family at the airport, that Nede will be able to handle it with braveness (and her mom)!)

the final days

The last few weeks have been busy as have been all the others. It's been another wonderful period of time with friends and family. We're 4 days and counting until our return to Mozambique. That comes with many different feelings. I suspect that there will be many tears over the next few days as we continue to say goodbye to our many beloved family and friends. It won't be easy for Nede (or me) to say goodbye to her Meme, Grandpa, Auntie, Uncle and cousins. Please pray for strength for both of us. The most daunting thing for me is the return to the unknown. Not knowing when we'll get to return to the States, not knowing what lies ahead BUT as I look back over the last 5 months I see fingerprints of my loving father all over them and it gives me courage to move forward.

 Here's a picture journey of the last couple of weeks--
 Lots of time with friends and family:

 My niece and 4 nephews were baptized and the quads celebrated their 3rd bday:

 A wonderful trip to Michigan:

A hair makeover with the help of 5 in Michigan (white mom doesn't know what she's doing):

Finally a finished product after most of the day today:

Some serious play:

 And cherished friends who I hate to leave:

Thank you all for your presence with us here in the States over the last few months. It's been the greatest period of my life and I'm overflowing with gratefulness! Please continue to keep in touch-- email or skype. We may be further away in miles but you all are so near to my heart. Please keep praying for us and know how deep our love is for you. We are so, so blessed! We go trusting in Him...