Let's Pray

I am home. After a cancelled bus and lost luggage (it did arrive) I am settling in and trying to find my place. As I have returned to Arizona it feels like I never left. I find myself wondering if the last year really ever happened. The heaviness in my heart reminds me that yes, the last year really happened. It feels strange to be back. I don't know where my place is or how to make sense of things. To be very honest, like I always am, I can't make sense of the world. Perhaps I am not supposed to and shouldn't even try. I wonder who I am supposed to be. I AM of THIS culture, but a part of my heart has connected with another culture. That leaves me trying to figure out who I am in THIS culture. I haven't figured it out. I can't figure it out and I get overwhelmed and exhausted trying. Bearing this in mind, I ask for your grace. As I continue my reunions with my family and friends, please be patient with me. Be patient when I talk and make no sense. Be patient when I tell a story and can't finish it through my tears. And maybe you'll need to be patient if your with me and I have an anxiety attack when in the chaos of Walmart or the mall parking lot. Please continue your loving grace.
And the million dollar question...what is next?
Prayer- yours and mine. I need to continue to pray. Right now I have NO idea. I don't know where I will live or where I will work. I know that I am going to enjoy this weekend with Deanna- I CAN'T wait!! And I am going to spend next week with my whole family in Sedona- wonderful! I need this time. After that...I ask you to pray for me to have wisdom and desire to be wherever the Lord wants me, and to be willing to do whatever He desires.
More importantly though...will you keep faithfully praying for Mozambique- for Carlos and his family and all the dedicated volunteers that work with Rubatano? The last time I spoke to Carlos, before I left South Africa, he said, "it is bad here! The people are hungry! It is very bad!"
I asked, "Carlos, is it worse than before we left."
"Yes, it is not good and the volunteers, they are discouraged."
Now that I am not there, all I (we) can do, and the very BEST we can do, is pray! Please keep praying for these precious people that are struggling to have food on the table. What would that be like?
My motto for the year, which I often sang out loud to Laura, was this- "God will make a way, when there seems to be no way." I will continue to cling to this as I try to make sense of my life here, and their life there.
Let's pray, God will make a way!

Child-Like Joy

This morning I woke up and thought it was Christmas day. My nose, the only flesh peaking out from under the down comforter, was frozen. I looked out the window and it was dark and wet. I then slowly realized that I was in England, with Adriel and it is nowhere close to Christmas. I am not sure what I was thinking or hoping for. I don't know what I was dreaming about. Perhaps I was hoping that I was waking to a new Christmas morn where the fresh images in my mind of hungry, sick, poor friends was being washed away by a fresh blanket of fluffy snow.
Again, in my search for reality I had to remind myself that, though far away now, those images are reality. Those that I worked along side and became friends with are still there. That is their reality- they are still fighting, longing to sit where I sit right now.

I must keep praying.

I must obtain that child-like faith that God is working and answering prayers- even when I don't know how things are going.

I felt like a child this morning.

If only my faith was as strong as the excitement I felt this morning when I thought I was at my aunt and uncles house on Christmas morning.

As I keep praying, I will keep moving forward. I will look for that Christmas morning, child-like joy like I felt this morning.

I think I will have another glimpse of it on Friday at about 635pm.

Brrr....

I wish I could have watched Laura and I as we landed in London. We were traveling from one terminal of Heathrow to another. When the elevator door opened we didn't know they would be opening to the outside. Much to our surprise we gasped as the wind gust reached us and snowflakes fell on our cheeks. I think our reaction may have been similar to a villager looking at the New York skyline. The others in the elevator may have been wondering the cause of our surprise and over reaction.
Now as I sit, inside the flat, I am freezing. My African wardrobe, and blood, is very happy that I am returning home to Phoenix, not Minnesota.
It's great to be back in England. It's great to hear English all the time, not a myriad of other foreign tongues. It's nice to turn on hot water from the tap and drink from it without fear of parasites and disease. It's a relief to be in semi-familiar surroundings and to be with friends that know me outside of Africa. I am grateful for this transition time. I just still can't believe that the year is over. It was a year ago that I was here with Adriel and Joel. Now I am here with them and their 2 month old daughter- I have been away a long time. It went so fast. Each day, numerous times, I am still reminding myself that I am not going back to Mozambique- I honestly can't get it in my head. It still doesn't feel real, I feel lost in transition after living this transient life for the last number of months. I am eager to get to a place where I have people around me that make me feel "at home."
I woke up this morning and also felt confused that Laura isn't here. I have thought of one million things that I want to tell her even though we have only been apart for 24 hours. This will be yet another big adjustment! I trust that Laura has arrived home safely and is with her family now. I miss you Laura!
I miss you Mozambique!
I miss you South Africa!
I miss you Hands at Work!
I miss you family and friends.
Thankfully the best part of this transition time is yet to come. I will be able to at least talk to most of you very soon, if not see you and get lots of hugs. One 11 our flight done and one more to go. Friday evening I will step off the plane with lots of stories and a heart to share. I am looking forward to it.