part of why i love her

Singing this song, a toothless grin, a big hug after a hard day. I love her! 

arise!

The battle feels extra heavy right now.

The resistance pushing in near, very near, 

As if I'm hitting the wall at mile 21.

I can either walk and let the cramps settle in and slow me down or,

I can put my head down into the wind and press on.

I can continue, in confidence knowing that I've worked hard unto this day and the Lord, who is faithful, will help me finish.

His glory at the finish line will be like few have ever experienced.

The victory will be bigger than you understand, the details that you don't know, God does, and HE IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED! 

More than ever the battle is heavy. 

We will not do this on our own.

This morning when I listened to a podcast about the body, the Church, and everyone's role in it, I was sure that this is our time. 

The BODIE'S time. 

You MUST commit to praying for us over the next 48 hours. 

Friends and family of Dara! ARISE! 

Friends I've yet to meet, ARISE! 

Adorers of a precious 7 year old, Nede, ARISE!

All those who take the Bible seriously and understand that true and lasting religion is to care for the widow and orphaned, ARISE! 

Those who want to be part of an INCREDIBLE triumph and victory and who this Christmas will sing with the angels with new meaning, "Glory to God in the highest and peace to his people on earth!" ARISE!!! 

Ezekiel 20 says, "The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the alien, denying them justice. 

'I look(ed) for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land...'"
Let him find us!

I'm asking, please, arise, build a wall and stand in the gap on behalf of Nede and me. 

For these next few days ARISE and PRAY! 

Body of Christ ARISE! 

For to Him be the Glory, NOW AND FOREVER!

The battle is heavy but He promises victory. Arise!

happy 7th nede

I was delighted to spend 6 hours making a cake yesterday (only had 1 round cake pan so I had to bake 3 different cakes).

And I love seeing the joy in this smile...

And I can't believe I've been part of this life since she was less than 3 years old!

She's just so much fun!

Who else can carry off a lady bug right on the tip of their nose?

And I delight in having each of these little lives apart of mine!

 I love you Nede and all your little friends!
(Her real bday is on the 25th, the day after my sister's. There will be more celebrating then as it's a public holiday...no school!)

i don't accept this

Yesterday when I was driving through the chaos to pick Nede up from school I couldn't believe how normal it seemed. Between the people selling bras and bananas, juice mix and junk, bicycles, reckless drivers, walkers, wandering children and the familiar "crazy people", I can't believe I no longer have heart palpation's and, that once familiar, fear of this place. I remembered when I hated coming to Chimoio and I usually let Laura drive because I preferred not to. Now it's just normal, I peacefully maneuver my way through the confusion several times a day. This has become my normal.

What hasn't become normal is the negligence of human life. Yesterday at the clinic I saw a young mom with her 7 month old baby weighing in at 3.5kg (7.7 lbs). The child's skin hung on her petite bones. Her mouth, covered in white yeast, was one of the causes of her wailing when I tried to give her her milk that she so desperately needed. The mother had done nothing that we had asked her to do the week prior. As a result, this peanut lost 200gms. I felt infuriated. I used to think the natural thing was to fight for life-- to try to care for a human being. This women lacked the will to fight and the desire to try. I spoke and I explained. I asked her to please go immediately to the hospital. I wasn't convinced she was going to go. I gave her money for transport so that couldn't be the excuse to keep her a way. But the whole situation was still unsettling within me. Thankfully, when I went to leave shortly after this, I saw her. I stopped my car and got her in-- I would drive her to the hospital door myself. I want that baby to live!

I don't know if the hospital admitted her. I pray they did.

I've been wrestling with this all too common scenario. I'm sure it all comes back to my world view and how different it is growing up in America. We have NICU's and PICU's and ICU's and ambulances that are actually available and hospitals that have supplies and we can get medications without bribing the nurses and we get treatment relatively easily. From my earliest years, I knew my parents would do everything they could to keep me healthy and well. They straightened my feet and straightened my teeth! They taught me that my life was valuable and I now know that it is.

Suppose they hadn't done these things for me? Suppose their parents had died in a brutal civil war and they were taught nothing? Suppose they were infected with a virus that they didn't understand and were shamed and outcasted because they had the ugly 3-letter taboo? I guess had I grown up in these circumstances EVERYTHING would have been different. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!

So...with that recognized, I can expect that this is the mentality but I will NOT ACCEPT it. But how do I do anything different? How do we influence a culture? How do we, as children of a loving God, help to teach the value of a life?

I'm wrestling with this. I never want this part of my life to feel normal. Sometimes I'm scared though, because sometimes I find myself just wanting to accept that "this is how things are here". I didn't accept this for my daughter and I don't want to accept it for anyone else's.

At the end of the day, all I know is that I don't know, but He does. And He hates injustice.

And...I don't even know how to end this blog...as I remember the screaming baby I held yesterday I don't know what conclusion to come up with. I just don't understand. Really, I'm glad I don't have to, I just pray...

Lord, give us wisdom for each day...

a prayer for adoption

Today I've been reading my book of Common Prayer: A liturgy for ordinary radicals, by Shane Claiborne and others, and I came across this prayer. Will you pray it with me?

A Prayer for Adoption

Generous and divine trinity,

we give thanks for the presence of our holy brothers and sisters.

We give thanks that you created the world,

though it turned from your ways.

We give thanks that you began a people to bless this world,

though it did not always bless.

We give thanks, with greatest reverence,

for the gift of your Son, Jesus Christ,

who indeed blessed the world.

Thanks be to you for the signs and glory of the Lamb of God. 

In him, we are all adopted children of God.

We are brought into the divine redemption,

which now subsists in each embrace,

each extension of love.

Each sacrament,

each kiss and act of service.

May the adoption of this beloved child Nede be blessed.

Almighty God, you adopted your people in Egypt,

and they came out into the wilderness to pitch a tent.

May we the family of this beloved child enjoy the presence of God in the tent of life together

as we look toward the pillar of fire by day--

a sign of your coming glorious redemption;

and the pillar of cloud by night--

a sign of your presence amid our trials and darkness.

In Christ, the Son of God,

there is neither adoptive nor natural parents and children. 

We are all born again in the Spirit of God.

This Spirit redeems us with the substance of faith, hope, and love.

May this child be blessed by the mysterious presence, mercy, and grace of the Trinity,

Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Amen 

3 things that make me smile and 1 unusual moment of gratitude

#1: Yesterday Nede and I were bent over the tub washing some bedding and Nede said, "Wow! Look at this, 2 people washing. One Mozambican and one American! Wow!"

***

#2: This morning while Nede was eating breakfast I was reading Psalm 40 out loud. When I read "...the Lord is thinking about me right now." She said, "That's not true, he's always thinking about us. That book is wrong!"

***

#3: Two fresh strawberries from our garden!

***

 #1: Last night when I took Nede to the toilet at about 10pm I was changing her sheets when I found this, was live, scorpion INSIDE her mosquito net. That's the first time I've ever been grateful I had to change her bed in the night!

dinner for a 6 year old?

I love my girl and that she loves a colorful dinner like we ate tonight-- butternut squash soup and buttered beets...

...she loves it! 

photos of the day

Here's a brief snapshot of my day:

Beautiful hands of a generous, most compassionate German nurse friend, a hardworking mother and her 2 month old, 1.4kg (3.08#) baby. 

Me giving a cuddle to a healthy baby.

Burning season. A fire as I drove home from the clinic--typical destruction this time of year. 

Nede hitching a ride (sweet talking) our guard into giving her a ride on his bike. 

And, saying of the day:

"Nede, how'd I get so lucky to have such a great girl?"

"Oh, Mom, God helped you."

confused again

Today, I sat under this tree...

Talking with a few men and these women...

 

And we visited these houses...

 And this is a bit of what we talked about today.

-If someone living with HIV has 40 meticais ($1.40) they're going to choose to buy food with it and not use it to go the 15 km to the hospital once a month to get their antiretrovirals (the very medicine that can save/prolong their life). Food will always win over medication.

-The land is so dry that the people are suffering from lack of water. Their livestock, if they have it, is suffering. They're not bathing, they're not washing their clothes, they're not drinking enough. They don't have water. A simple conversation and a little leadership led to calling a community meeting for next Thursday to have the community come together to build a dam so when the rains start they can have a reservoir of water.

And this is all just after I shared on John 10:10-- Jesus came for abundant life. I wonder what those people were really thinking when I shared on this. Because, what really do I know about the struggles in their lives? Nothing. Not one single thing.

I also told them what an honor it was to be here walking in their community with them. And that's true and that's part of what makes my life abundant. This shows me truth, the reality of the world we live in. And through this I GET to walk along side these people I am growing to love. I can't fix their situations but I can walk beside them. And that's what I'll do...

And then I get to come home and walk through life with this one...

And I wonder, how did this world end up like this? We must not settle for the theft, death and destruction. 

The theft comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

And these days make me exhausted. 

Taking it all in, 

wondering what to do,

praying for wisdom and strength to go on.

Rejoicing in getting to be here.

Longing to not,

and wondering where I'll ever fit. 

full life comes full circle

Last week, while Nede was on school holiday, I didn't have a place for her to go on one of the days I usually go to the clinic. I was talking to Nede about our options. I mentioned this, I mentioned that and she said, "Mom, I can go with and help at the clinic, I can be the one who passes out the cookies?"
"Oh, that's a great idea Nede."
The next day we did just that. And it was amazing. Nede did so well for being expected to stay inside a small building, passing out cookies and staying quiet for 5 hours. But she was much more than the best cookie passer outer the clinic has ever seen.
As I sat there watching Nede lovingly give cookies to babies and watching in concern at the sick ones, it was much more to me. It was eternally beautiful. It was John 10:10 coming full-circle, 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.


At one point in Nede's young life her destiny was just that...full of theft, murder and destruction. But through the vision of the very baby clinic where Nede now gives back, her destany is full of life. Yes, her little life is still unfolding but it is abundant. And my greatest dream for her is that she'll desire to live her life in a way that matters. Tonight when she asked me why Mono Jose doesn't go to "our clinic" my soul smiled and I thought, "Yes, Nede! Keep that heart. Keep loving and giving and claiming as yours the ONE who saved you and has given you a beautiful eternal destiny!" 

...Because, we serve and we work because we believe we're called to fight for life and to allow the words of Jesus to come into fruition. He desires life. And not just life, FULL LIFE! And that's what we're here to share.