Part 1: an "escape"

(Perhaps this is one of the most elementary blogs I've ever written but you're seeing how simple and childish my faith is becoming, you'll see;)

It's been awhile since I've written much. I'm not really sure why. Maybe because my days haven't been filled with much more than monotony and drudgery. That sounds quite depressing, doesn't it? Many days I'm left wondering what to do with these feelings I have. Feeling overwhelmed by homesickness, longing to hear the English language on the streets, wanting for 1 day to not hear about a death of someone close to a friend, not hearing the pack of street dogs yipping and howling every night when I go to sleep, not checking my bank account every day to see if I'm going to have enough money to buy meat this week or pay for my residence permit to stay here another year-- it all feels so stressful. Not to mention the adoption, not to mention trying to raise a 6 year old as a single mom in a foreign land, not to mention the 14 year old child we're treating at the clinic with 3 massive tumors protruding out of his scalp, not to mention everyone around me suffering in some way with HIV/AIDS, not to mention being a "house mom" to a 22 year old girl still finding her way in this culture...

What do I do with this? What do I do when all I want to do is go back to bed after I get Nede off to school? What do I do when my mind is in a million places and I pour litchi juice in my coffee this morning instead of milk?

There are 2 things that I have done recently-- one I'm proud of and think that it's right in line with what God's doing within me on this journey. The other, no where near profound or Godly but it provided an incredible outlet, an incredible "escape" for me.

I'll start with the not so profound blessing.

I made a vow recently with some friends to watch more TV. Not too often do people need to promise themselves to watch MORE TV do they? I don't even have a TV. I do have a computer with a functional DVD drive.

The other evening after getting Nede to bed I decided I wanted to start to watch something. (Typically I'm so tired in the evenings that I end up just falling asleep with a book on my lap or I'm so full of anxious energy that I just muddle around the house doing nothing at all or surfing the internet looking for answers to some of my many questions about this season of life I'm in). I found that I had season 1 of The Voice. Now, I know I'm totally last year! but I started watching it and I was hooked! For the last week I watched the whole first season of The Voice.

Why did I love this so much? I'm not sure. I was totally impressed with how encouraging and positive the judges were to these aspiring artists. I love music but can hardly billow a note from this voice of mine. It just felt so good to watch this-- good to see normal people having dreams come true, good to hear quality music, good to see celebrities investing themselves to help someone else's dreams come true--giving back to the music industry what someone along the way probably had done for them.

I became especially attached to Blake Shelton and 2 of the girls on his team, Dia Frampton and Xenia. (I know this is a silly blog, I wish you could understand how just watching this, over a year late, makes me feel connected to "home" and a whole new light of things-- I need these "escapes".) I don't know how many times I cried while watching Blake's (a first name basis, as if I know him) interactions with these girls. From watching the show he seemed to believe in and care about these girls (and everyone but especially these 2) far beyond a celebrity working on a talent search show. He cared, acting as a father figure, it brought me much joy. He believed in their talent, stood by them, worked hard with them and loved them. It was beautiful. Now I sit here searching iTunes for music of these girls that I grew to be great fans of. I found this duet of  Dia Frampton and Blake Shelton, and I cried again:

I don't know why this all feels so significant. Maybe this is what happens when you feel so out of touch with your own culture, I now cling to celebrities and rising stars to experience something "normal." Of course I know this is made for TV and I don't really know how "real" their relationship is, but what was aired was a deep reminder to me of what we're called to do as the Church, as part of walking out the Kingdom together. The commitment and encouragement touched my heart. This was a shining example.


Maybe this moved me because I realize we're all searching for a Blake Shelton to cheer us along and believe in us. 

I know, this may sound oh, so silly but for me it took me away from the darkness, away from my daily challenges and into a place where dreams come true. The overall winner of The Voice (as if I'm informing you, this is OLD news;) was Javier Colon, a young father of 2 beautiful children. This also made me cry.

I celebrated with them. I needed to remember some dreams do come true!

(More about how God is using this and my other "escape" in part 2 to come. Now I need to go check out the 2 kittens that decided to make a home on my roof last night and prepare for Nede and a friend coming home to play this afternoon)