I have a love/hate relationship with technology. I love that it allows me to be in touch with far more people than I would otherwise be able to. I hate that I hear important life news by means of things like Facebook and text messages. I dislike that we don’t always get to look people in the eye and share news. In addition, we sometimes don’t even get to hear an audible voice in the delivery of important information. As much as I hate it, I have conformed to the culture and I am guilty of my very own convictions.
I love it because I often can’t articulate my heart verbally and on those days when I have something to “blog” about, I feel free. I feel free to express and share in a deeper way than I could without this modern theory of maintaining relationships. If I am not able to have the time or proximity to communicate with all I desire, at least with this crazy thing of a blog you can hear my heart, as cold as reading from a web address may be. I apologize for sharing via a piece of technology.
As much as I love and hate doing this, it is about as much as my emotions can handle some days.
I want to share with you the last few weeks of my life. As you have probably gathered from past writings, my return from Mozambique has been a challenge, a genuine struggle actually. It has been a battle, but not a battle without hope.
About a month ago, as I sat crying and contemplating life in a retirement park in Mesa, AZ I decided I needed to return to MN for a visit. This decision was made with the desire that in doing so, I would “feel” what was right for my future- settle (for now) in MN, AZ or somewhere else? A long story short, I spent a few days in Minneapolis (with 2 job interviews), Willmar, Duluth, Remer, Fargo. I then returned to Phoenix with the same uncertainty and not “feeling it”. I contemplated another week, celebrated a beautiful wedding of dear friends and then it came to me. “Dara- move so you can see Me move.” I’m not one to hear a loud, booming, audible voice from the Lord but I ask for it. I speak to Him and I expect Him to speak. It seems crazy, it feels crazy, but I finally came to the point that I knew it was the right time to leave- to drive away from what I called home for the last 5 years. In coming to this decision, I knew I needed to do it and do it quickly. I never do well with goodbyes and it would never be easy to leave a place I have grown to love. Emotionally, I needed to just go. On Monday, I decided that I would leave Thursday to drive back to Minneapolis and arrive in time for a scheduled interview on Monday, May 18.
I did.
I packed, I cried and I drove.
Now, here I sit in my new home. I have been here less than 1 week and I have seen God move, as He promised. I am living with my dear cousin 2 miles from one of my best friends from college.
I had been actively looking for jobs in Phoenix for a good 2 months now. My connections and network of friends and colleagues were helping. NOTHING was happening.
When I returned to MN for my visit, I spent time with dear friends who encouraged me to return to Phoenix and visit a Vineyard Church. I returned to Phoenix on a Saturday-- 11pm. I looked online for a near Vineyard Church. I found one-- service, 11am, perfect!
I went. I saw a former colleague from my hospice job. We visited. I was blessed.
The next Sunday I returned. We chatted again. I shared that I was contemplating a move to MN. She mentioned that she has a friend in hospice in Minneapolis.
Long story short, I moved to Minneapolis. On Monday, I receive an email with a name of a hospice nurse in Minneapolis whom I am to call the next day.
Tuesday morning I make the call and speak to a very kind woman who promises she’ll get my name out to a number of hospice agencies as hers doesn’t not have any current job openings.
One hour later, I get a call from human resources at her agency and they tell me they do indeed have an RN position they are looking to fill, I should fill out the online application.
An hour later I get a call back, can I interview tomorrow?
Yes, yes I can.
Wednesday, interview number 2 of the week (I had 1 interview in Phoenix in 2 months keep in mind).
Thursday, a call with a job offer.
Friday, I accept a full time position.
God was moving when I had no idea He was remembering me down here. Had I not returned to MN I would not have thought to go to this church. Had I not gone to this church, I would not have seen a former coworker. Had I not walked away from Phoenix in obedience and faith I would not have made the call, I would not have gotten an interview and I would not have been offered what I feel is a good job for me for now.
I didn’t plan to get another hospice job right now. My heart feels tired of the heaviness, but, with the way I see God having moved in my life I trust this is right where He wants me.
Here I am. He will give me strength when I am weak. I don’t always know where I am headed but I trust who is guiding me. While my heart is still in Mozambique, my presence is now in Minneapolis. God moved me here so stay tuned to what He is going to do next.
Whoever said being a Christian is boring? Walk by faith with me and “watch Him move.”