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Monday, August 11, 2014

my dream for courage

Sometimes you just have to dive in, don't you? Be like Peter and "get out of the boat"! All the while, there may be fear and trembling but, with eyes fixed on Jesus, take a step. Baby as they may be, just walk, keep on walking.

I've been here in Mozambique the better part of 5 years now. All the while I've been busy doing what God had in front of me but never was I secure enough, never was I well enough, to dream another dream. But now, as life settles, I enjoy my family and our life here, I've started to dream again. And so, after months of writing, planning programs and trainings, I'm to the point of being ready to "get out of the boat and walk..."

You may have read about Courage which later lead to my sharing about my desire to start a program in hospice care. And then, not long after I had an experience which reminded me, if God has asked something of me, I need to walk in it, I need to listen, I want to be Obedient.

So, for the rest of this year, I will slowly be rolling out my plans for a palliative care/hospice program in Mozambique. (I have a more detailed plan if anyone is interested to know more please email me at darajeanhillstrom@gmail.com). The basis of the program is to teach families and communities to care for, in their homes, those with incurable disease. I foresee this being many HIV/AIDS patients, those with things such as cancer (that which there is no treatment for here) and even children with special  needs who have little to no access to support structures.  I will hire and work alongside 1-2 Mozambicans (for starters) who will be titled "trainers" who, after much training themselves, will be able to train families and caregivers in how to care for and what to expect in caring for their terminally-ill loved ones.

Historically in Mozambique, there is no understanding of "comfort care" or that "suffering" isn't necessary. Many people may even believe pain and "symptoms out of control" (ie. nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, seizures, hallucinations) are a result of a curse or a sin that they've committed. In preparation for planning this program I've conducted some interviews to gain a better cultural understanding. I've been shocked to hear from my friends that the only acceptable reason for death would be due to old age. Any other prior death would be a work of witch craft or a curse. Disease process is not understood. Accidents aren't called for what they are, an "accident", all is a matter of sorcery.

What a scary way to live. Terrible.

Okay, okay, so you maybe thinking, it's unlikely that I'm going to be able to change a nation and culture's world view on death and dying. I will be the first to agree with you! There are mountains in front of this messenger who's trying to bring good news of eternal life to those who are suffering. But, my hope is that within the next many months my team and I can walk with a few families, primarily the Courages and  my little guy with tuberculosis to bring them some relief and care but most importantly love and hope!

To kick this off, I will need a little bit of extra support to do things such as have training programs translated into Portuguese, have salary money to pay my "trainers", transport money to bring our patients to the hospital when necessary (not to die there but to be treated and returned home), and money to buy some supplies. I would like to give you the opportunity to purchase a Comfort Care pack that will help provide some additional TLC to one of our dear patients. For a donation of $50 (suggested) you can provide this bag for a patient. Inside they will be provided with a tooth brush, tooth paste, mouth wash, aqueous cream, lip balm, a new capalona (cloth used for everything here--a sheet, towel, skirt, headscarf, everything. Literally!) and best of all a  Wildlife Storyteller!!





With the help of my great husband and his ministry (Audio Scripture Ministries) we're working on having a culturally appropriate recording that will be in these animals (on the blue player here- a solar powered device that plays up to 15 hours of stories, music, scriptures!) and the best thing is that we working to have it in the local dialect. There is NOTHING available in this dialect for people to listen to, nor is there even a written Bible or New Testament of the language of the people right here where we're living and working! Our goals is to record stories of hope, stories of love, Bible stories, Psalms, music and songs-- things that people, children and adults, can listen to and hear when they're ill, even until they take their last breath. This will reach much further than just to the palliative or hospice patient, the African family is large and many people will hear the word of God through through these adorable tools. 

Please know that we're starting this program off very small but will incur some additional expenses. Every patient that we care for will receive one of these packs but some of the funds raised will have to go towards the translating and recordings for these devices, salaries, supplies, transport, medications, etc. 

If this is something you'd like to partner with us in please fell free to send a gift via the "DONATE" Paypal button to the left of this link, click here Dara's support and follow the directions. Any additional support above the personal support I receive, by either of these 2 means, will be set aside for the palliative care/hospice program.

Thank you for your care, love, support, encouragement and believing in this need! I am excited to be dreaming again! 

A special thanks to Nede and Simba for their assistance in this photo shoot. 


Monday, August 4, 2014

the one in the tiger suit

Several weeks ago, while at a rural village church doing a Bible distribution, we were getting in the car when Nede said with that, oh, so enthusiastic Nede way, "Mom! You see that girl in the tiger suit? She's my best friend ever!"
Well, this Sunday we were back to the same church and, once again, Nede came running to me, "Mom, I found my tiger friend again!"

Let's hope she never wears a different dress because Nede will never recognize her "best friend ever" without her tiger suit on!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

that's all i want.

Do you know what I want?
    I want justice—oceans of it.
I want fairness—rivers of it.
    That’s what I want. That’s all I want. Amos 5:24

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

shoot. another lesson in obedience.

I felt nervous to go to clinic today. Because, I had to back track some steps. My steps of disobedience.

Four weeks ago my Little Guy "I'd like some rice and fish now" came to the clinic. He wasn't well. I happened to have brought some new clothes for him that day, clothes Nede picked out for him because he has worn the same red sweat pants every visit to the clinic. Likely his best. On this cool day I added his new long sleeve shirt to what he was already wearing but he kept on shivering. He said he felt fine. His Vovo (grandmother) also confirmed that he was fine. But, it wasn't THAT cold. Why was he still shivering? I guessed that if I took a cold water bath on this morning I'd be shivering for the next 3 months as well but, he's a bit hardier than I am, he shouldn't be cold from a bath.

I took his temperature. Normal.
I listened to his lungs. Fine.
No other obvious acute illness.
Other than the fact that he has abdominal tuberculosis and HIV I can't find anything else wrong.
I guessed that those 2 huge diseases within themselves could be causing the tremors and, if that was my assessment, there was nothing else I could do.

I didn't feel right in myself as I prepared to send him home. I thought, "this isn't looking good, what if this is the start to another end?" As a staff we talked about taking him home so that we could know where their house was for future needs. But, for whatever reason, I decided that we'd do it next time. I can't recall if I had a good reason to not go that day or not. Would I be late to pick up Nede? Was I just tired of the challenge? Bottom-line. I didn't go.

For 4 weeks I waited. Hoping. Praying I didn't miss it again. My Little Guy who we already saw go from glory to glory Eating rice and fish was teaching me a lesson. My worry wasn't necessarily that he'd declined and died (which I obviously hoped wasn't the case) but my greater concern was I had had the stirring to do more and I hadn't. I was disobedient. I know I myself can't take away his TB and HIV but I have (tried) to commit myself to walk with those I'm asked to. Had I missed it with him?

This morning, a frigid one, apparently no one wanted to be out (yes, 44 degrees is cold with no indoor heating), there was no one waiting to be seen at the clinic-- the perfect time to go look for my Little Guy. I was afraid. What if he had died? What if he was suffering in the hospital. We set out-- filled my car with fuel so we'd be sure to have enough in case we were gone for a while searching. As it turned out, this time "very close" actually was very close. I parked my car under the mango tree as this stranger who said she knew my Little Guy led us to the house. I could have screamed and done a little dance as we walked down the hill, I saw Little Guy playing with some other kids. He immediately came over to greet my friend and me. He was okay! His Vovo had been sick and today she was in Chimoio selling bananas.

Oh, the relief that came over me as he sat on my lap. Of course he's not well but he's the better. He wasn't shivering on this cold morning. And, I pray he now knows I care. And, when the Lord asks me to "go" next time, I hope I'm able to respond.

But, for today, I enjoyed another visit with my Little Guy and we'll see what more we can do for him. I thank God for the grace of today and for having mercy on me while I keep on learning.

Another lesson in obedience....

Sunday, July 6, 2014

family. freedom. faith.

Family.
Friends.
Flowers.
Food.
Faith.
And. 
Freedom.
Celebrating them all.



Happy 4th of July!
And, missing things of "home".

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

willing to work on the exit

Because that day she died I realized, when he asked me, "Don't you see, this is your hospice heart? This is your passion."
After over 5 years living in this developing country and seeing the suffering, my eyes were opened, my heart awaken.
When she, swollen and hurting, lost and broken, went home and there was nothing I could do,
I wept.

I wept because I used to work in Scottsdale where no one settled for anything but the best for their ailing loved one.
At Mayo Clinic you don't do anything second best,
You do every last thing until their's satisfaction and peace.
Great peace.
Because dying is scary, but, I've seen it done well.
That midnight on-call visit I had when the wife whispered into her beloved's ear, "Go home Dear, it's okay. Go to Jesus."
That was beauty.
After the "Hooray for you" entry into the world,
It can be followed by a peaceful, "Praise to Him" heading out of the world.

It rarely happens like that here,
The entrance,
Or the exit.

But now, after the awakening within me,
And, the "public health emergency" the world is finally recognizing (BBC latest),
And, being on a continent that needs more than Tylenonl (ONE campaign article),
I, with fear and trembling, because as she said the other day, "This is going to hurt"
I willingly walk forward.

Starting to talk about palliative care and end of life in a nation where they say,
"No, I couldn't care for someone dying in my home. That would take too much courage."
I don't come with morphine,
Or a trained doctor at my side,
Or a brainy academic understanding of AIDS,
What I do come with is this,
I KNOW THE HEALER.
He who said there is "a time to be born and a time to die..."
Didn't want her to suffer as she did....I'll call her courage

I'm willing to work on the exit.

To be continued...

Monday, June 16, 2014

4 years with my peanut

Four years ago today this little one ran into my heart and home....

Almost a year ago she lept into his...

Today we celebrate all the grace and miracles that our loving Father has performed to put this little family together. We are so, so grateful.
Thank you Nede for the last 4 years of joy you have brought to every person you've met, you've penetrated each heart and left a sliver of you with them. We're so blessed you're ours. Keep making the "earth be filled with an awareness of the glory of the Lord." Habakkuk 2:14

Someone once said to me, "Nede has more love to give than anyone else I've ever known." It's true.
Her love bubbles over....

Thanks for letting her enter your hearts as well! 

Previous blog posts celebrating this day:

Saturday, June 14, 2014

happy father's day

This is love and mutual adoration.
I wish you could watch this amazing story unfold as closely as I have.
This father's love is astounding.
If his love is this true, what must be the love of our Heavenly Father?
I cannot comprehend.
To this dad, who shows  me how to love,
and to all the other father's who point us to our Father's love,
Happy Father's Day.
Our home overflows.
xoxoxoxo

Friday, June 13, 2014

an email that touched my heart

If you've followed my blog very closely, you'll understand the significance of this....

On this Saturday, when the next days ahead feel hard and heavy, I struggled to face it. When most in need of encouragement, she wrote. She responded to my sharing how, through a blog she has touched my life. Yes, she wrote. Thank you Ann!!!!


Beautiful Dara...

Ah, friend --- that you'd write such a grace-filled, moving note -- so real and transparent? Your words and story bring tears.
Lays this sister right low and I whisper thanks to Jesus for you and yes, ma'am -- we'll keep pressing on to Jesus together.

You are so, so loved --- by Jesus and this Cross-clinging daughter...
Just -- thank you. For loving like our Lord, friend and being the gift and giving back.

Yes! We will talk long in Heaven...

All's grace,
Ann

Friday, May 23, 2014

what's it all leading to?

"Chad, what's it all leading to?"
"I don't know Dear."

It's my first day back. I sit investigating through old, smelly, rubbish paper bits that serve as hospital receipts. I identify that this little gal, less than 2 years old, was tested with ++malaria yesterday. I look for the receipt with malaria treatment on it. Before asking I make sure I've looked at all the dingy papers. I see blood was drawn and the hemoglobin was 4 (normal should be 10 or above). I pull down the lower eye lid of this lethargic sweet pea and sure enough-- white as a ghost. Severe anemia.

I ask the mom, "Did they not give you any medicine?"
"No, nothing. They said she has low blood and if she takes tablets she'll die."
Tears roll down her cheeks.

Lies.
Lies.
Lies.

Greed. Wanting bribes
and lies.

And it's a child who suffers.
We do what we can,
what we know best to do.

Return to the hospital.
Hope someone has compassion.
And keep wondering...

"What's it all leading to?"