worship

I miss shopping at Target. I also miss scenting my home with Pier One Import candles. When I first tried to make this house, "home", I wanted a shopping spree thinking that "things", I like would make it a home. 

I still would like more cozy decor but God's given me something else.

I also miss being a single, footloose and fancy free young woman. Now I struggle to find even a few minutes to quiet my heart and mind to write or read and pray. Even when I find some quiet time much of the time I've found it difficult to open the Bible, difficult to read the Word without falling asleep or wanting to do a million other things. Finding ways to worship hasn't come easy. And when it has it's been quite simple, almost child-like. 

Cardboard boxes and Crayola markers:

This is the wall that decorates my bedroom. Now smeared from the roof leaking and rain pouring down the wall it's becoming plastered with promises and reminders that the Lord has given me over these last months and years. Some days simply writing a truth on a piece of cardboard has been the most holy thing that I can get myself to participate in. It's been through these few moments that I feel like I am really worshiping and communing with my Father.  I think it represents where I'm at-- desperate, child-like, simple, but always hopeful...always hoping.

I think God's okay with it too. This is the season I'm in. I'm asking many questions-- I'm searching for answers. My faith continues to become my own. It's different than just accepting what I hear from the pulpit.

It's real and it's mine.

It's simple.