Waking up every morning to your daughter flipping on the light switch and announcing, "Mom! I have to go poo." This gets on my nerves.
Rushing her out the door, late for school again, I get annoyed when she says "let's race to see who gets their seat belt on first. NO, WAIT, WAIT..." as she get's her silver clip into it's notch and just before it makes the, latched "click", sound she says "GO! IT'S ME, IT'S ME!"
The same thing EVERY-single-DAY!
Answering, or trying to, 27 questions on the 10 minute drive to school
Talking to her about her behavior at school.
Talking to her about the behavior of others at school.
Playing games with her.
Disciplining her.
Cooking for her.
Cleaning for her.
Bathing her.
Driving her.
Paying for her.
Living here for her.
Being her friend.
Being her sibling.
Being her mom.
Being her dad.
The list could go on and on....you know.
You're never ready are you? Never in a million years did I plan to become a mom in the fashion I did. My experience isn't exactly a situation I played pretend about with my sister.
Today I worked at the clinic and sat with nearly 50 mothers and grandmothers. I looked them in the eye and asked how their baby's been in the last 2 weeks. I got frustrated when they couldn't explain their child's weight loss and I rejoiced when they said their child had had a negative HIV test.
I don't claim to know what it's like to be a mom in a village in Mozambique.
I also don't claim to know what it's like to be a soccer mom in the suburbs of America.
What I know first hand is that it's not easy. It's not easy anywhere.
Everyday I think about how my mom raised me-- with so much love, so much patience, so much grace. Everyday I know I'm not doing as good of a job as my mom did. EVERYDAY. Because this is just-not-easy. No where, for anyone. I don't think it gets easier when your children have grown either. I remember my mom telling me 2 years ago that she was having her most difficult year of being a mom. My sister and I were 30 and 34!
Tonight I just sit here in awe of the grace that's been bestowed upon me in having the mother I have. Grace. I can't explain it in any other way. I praise the Lord for His Amazing Grace in the gift of my mom. I ask for more Amazing Grace as I continue to learn how to be a mom and I ask for the MOST Amazing Grace for the mothers that I see every day in clinic as they watch their children suffer and they themselves suffer. They weren't ready for this either.
...this most important job in the whole world.
Being a mom and having a mom is an amazing gift covered with this AMAZING GRACE.
Mom, I hope I've made your life of being a mom as worth it as Nede has already made mine. I can't wait to hug you on June 15th. I can't wait for you to hug my daughter on June 15th. Please keep teaching me how to be a mom. Thanks for coming here on June 15th.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
(the most current picture of my mom and sister and me-- my sister awaiting the quads in March of 2010)
1 comment:
Dara, it is so true that being a mom is very difficult.
This is not something that you can explain to other women.
I often meet young women who are about to get married and I think about how I felt when I first got married. It seemed as though everything was about my young life with my husband. It has been 14 years and so many things have happened in those years that I hardly recognize that young love anymore.
It has been replaced by a deep, trusting love that has been grown through the rearing of children.
Much love to you,
Kelly
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