Brrr....

I wish I could have watched Laura and I as we landed in London. We were traveling from one terminal of Heathrow to another. When the elevator door opened we didn't know they would be opening to the outside. Much to our surprise we gasped as the wind gust reached us and snowflakes fell on our cheeks. I think our reaction may have been similar to a villager looking at the New York skyline. The others in the elevator may have been wondering the cause of our surprise and over reaction.
Now as I sit, inside the flat, I am freezing. My African wardrobe, and blood, is very happy that I am returning home to Phoenix, not Minnesota.
It's great to be back in England. It's great to hear English all the time, not a myriad of other foreign tongues. It's nice to turn on hot water from the tap and drink from it without fear of parasites and disease. It's a relief to be in semi-familiar surroundings and to be with friends that know me outside of Africa. I am grateful for this transition time. I just still can't believe that the year is over. It was a year ago that I was here with Adriel and Joel. Now I am here with them and their 2 month old daughter- I have been away a long time. It went so fast. Each day, numerous times, I am still reminding myself that I am not going back to Mozambique- I honestly can't get it in my head. It still doesn't feel real, I feel lost in transition after living this transient life for the last number of months. I am eager to get to a place where I have people around me that make me feel "at home."
I woke up this morning and also felt confused that Laura isn't here. I have thought of one million things that I want to tell her even though we have only been apart for 24 hours. This will be yet another big adjustment! I trust that Laura has arrived home safely and is with her family now. I miss you Laura!
I miss you Mozambique!
I miss you South Africa!
I miss you Hands at Work!
I miss you family and friends.
Thankfully the best part of this transition time is yet to come. I will be able to at least talk to most of you very soon, if not see you and get lots of hugs. One 11 our flight done and one more to go. Friday evening I will step off the plane with lots of stories and a heart to share. I am looking forward to it.

Changed

Laura and I had the opportunity to fly to Cape Town last week. We returned yesterday. I am afraid we aren’t the best “tourists” right now. Cape Town is the most culturally rich place I have ever been. International travelers long to come to Cape Town to see the sites and soak up the history.



My experience was quite different. As I walked into the Johannesburg airport, I couldn’t help but think of my new, dear friends in Mozambique. Over the course of a few days I went from their world (a world I now am very comfortable in) to a new world. My Mozambican friends would be very shocked to see this different world of Cape Town. My eyes saw things differently this vacation.
As I entered this massive building they call a terminal, I went up an escalator, a strange concept of electric stairs. I walked up to a machine that eventually spit out a piece of paper that would later allow me to walk onto an airplane. I then headed to the bathroom. There I used a toilet that flushed automatically, a trash can that opened with out my assistance, water than ran when I place my hands near it. I then proceeded to walk by some people where I had to place my bags on this moving table and walk through a strange doorway. I continued to walk and look to a peculiar TV screen that had a lot of important information on it. From there I knew which direction to head. Finally, for the first time upon my arrival to this large building I was forced to interact with a real person. I didn’t need to say much, I barely exchanged a greeting actually. That simple, brief encounter gave me passage to sit on an airplane, which in a couple hours I would walk off, and enter the land of shopping, food and sightseeing.
These would all be strange experiences to my new friends. I believe if they had been with me they may still be wondering why I had so rudely walked past so many people without greeting them and asking how their families are.
I already miss life in Mozambique. I miss the simplicity of the value of relationship and quality time with people.
I didn’t fit into the life of Cape Town.
It’s hard to make sense of how I go from being with people who may not have food for their family, to dining in a restaurant of my ethnic preference.
With the cares of the world behind me I was able to ride on a boat and drink coffee, laugh and watch TV.
Or did I? Were the cares of the world behind me?
No, actually. I couldn’t leave my experiences behind me. I was there, in Cape Town, but I still was seeing beggars and I slept just miles from “townships” where people are living in extreme poverty.
I wasn’t comfortable in Cape Town.
Is this unfortunate for me, that I can’t enjoy a “holiday?”
Perhaps.
Am I in for a difficult transition back to the States?
Yes, most likely. Most likely VERY difficult.
Do I wish I weren’t feeling this way?
Maybe a bit.
Would I change anything about this last year and what I am feeling as I prepare to return to the US?
Absolutely not!
I believe these are all good struggles I am having. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing, and perfect will.”
Do I understand what God’s will is? His good, pleasing and perfect will? Absolutely not. But I do believe IN it.
Do I believe I am called to be IN this world but not be OF this world? Absolutely!
What that looks like I am not too sure of but I believe God will work it out in me as I take Mozambique home with me in my heart…changed forever and pleased to be!

South Africa

I am at an internet cafe at a mall right now, I am watching the cost of my time online climb up so I don't have much time, or piece of mind to really express much. I just wanted to let you know that I have made it safely to SA. I had a great birthday (thanks for all the bday messages!). It was really hard, really hard! to leave Mozambique. I think I will slowly adjust to life here, and then life back home. It's a rollercoast of emotions. I am trying to cling to the knowledge that I know the Lord is calling me home- for now at least. Tears come at unexpected times but I am in a good place. Thanks for your continued prayers and I hope to be able to write a more thought out message soon. A lot has been happening. Bless you all and I will see you soon!

Thanks

As Laura and I prepare to leave, Carlos wrote a thank you letter that he wanted us to share with those who have supported us so faithfully here. To all of you have been so supportive of me- thank you, not only from me but also from Carlos and those I have worked with in Mozambique.

Dear Supporters,
Greetings from the hottest country, Mozambique, and Rubatano family. From the depths of our heart we would like to thank you for your great love, care and generosity for releasing our two lovely family members Dara and Laura.
We, as a family, feel very blessed. The caregivers, OVCs (orphans/vulnerable children), patients, widows, volunteers, the chief and other community members are thankful and crying because our family is leaving.
Please stand with us in prayer so that God may bring them back again if their duty is not finished. The work was made light with their presence, and the difficulties became few. We thank God for allowing them to be born and that they heard Gods’ voice to care.
We are together in Jesus Christ,
Carlos Giua and Rubatano Family

(Our power is still not fixed- I just have few minutes of power while we are at a friends house...)

The Last Week

I am sitting here after a day of errands and running around. I am tried. It's pouring down rain outside. I have a sense of joy as I think of starting my journey back to familiar. It seems like not long ago I was making my decision to come here and now I am contemplating decision regarding my return to the States. Wow! What a year!
There is rumor that the electricity transformer near the mission blew up and we may be out of power (including water) for weeks to months. This doesn't really affect me- only for the next week. I want to write much more but my internet/electricity time is limited right now. I just wanted to update you- hopefully the transformer is fixable and I will have electricity in the next week, but, if you don't hear from me that is why.
Thanks for your prayers as I prepare to leave Mozambique. Please pray that it can just be such a great week of wrapping up and that my heart will feel ready to go on Monday.
I hope to write more very soon. If not, I will as soon as I can next week. Until then...

Hodge Podge of Thoughts

Here's a hodge podge of what I am thinking about today...

Last week was Christmas, I can hardly believe it. I had some very special times and some wonderful gathers but it didn't really feel like Christmas. Not at all. Don't feel sorry for me. It was wonderful. It was a great experience and so good for me to see Christmas in another part of the world. The biggest thing was on Christmas afternoon. Laura, Hannah and I decided to go with some others from the Mission to bring food and a message to the Gondola prison. I hadn't quite prepared myself for what I would see, experience and feel. While there, I felt ashamed of myself that for so many years I had never thought outside of my own Christmas traditions. Never before on Christmas day had I thought about, or looked into the eyes of anyone other than my lovely family and friends. This Christmas I stared into the eyes of hungry, desperate, thirsting for truth prisoners. I then realized it is by God's grace alone that I am who I am and am where I am. My heart was full of hurt and rejoicing, joy and sorrow. I can't answer why to any of this, and I try not to ask. But I am again reminded- what breaks my heart breaks the heart of God far more. I must keep praying.

I was very happy and I was very sad this Christmas. I did miss a lot of my usual Christmas experiences (flying from sunny AZ to snowy MN) but I was, and am, right where I want to be. I'll be bringing in the new year this year with people who are teaching me and molding me, new relationships that bring me much joy!
Occasionally over the last few days I have gotten that uncomfortable rock in my stomach as I realize that I am here at the Mission for less than 2 weeks. It seems absolutely unreal, unreal! Please pray for me as I go from this place. As you can sense from my writings, over the last year I have been exposed to much and stretched to think on many new things. To fathom going on from her to any sort of "normalcy" seems bizarre BUT, I do feel God is working things out within me and I trust that the road before me will be smooth and well as I go from here. I am at yet another exciting crossroads. Thanks for your prayers.
I also wanted to just share a couple of my recent favorite pictures...
I wish you could hear the giggles and the "Sister Dara, Sister Dara"'s...



Lastly...
God is so good to the people here. With the rains (during the hungry, dry season) come invasions of "flying ants". As gross and creeped out as the girls in my house and I all get, these critters are a really protein treat for the Mozambicans. They collect them by the thousands, fry them up and enjoy!
Yes, I have tried them. No, I don't like them- especially when there was a wing left on my tooth! Ish!



What a treat!
More disorganized thoughts later...
Happy New Years to you!

Christmas in Africa

I remember last year hearing a Christmas song on the radio that says something like, "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmas, I wonder if they even know it's Christmas at all."
It's true. We barely know it's Christmas. I taught Sunday school at the Mission this morning and when I asked the children why this week is special and what December 25th is, these were the responses:
"It's raining."
"We have a party."
"Jesus died for us."
"God was born."
It's a different Christmas. This afternoon I sat doing hair with some of the girls on the Mission. As we were sitting there they started singing "Christmas in Africa..." then some Shona words that mean, "we are happy, we will be dancing."
If you know about Christmas you are happy and maybe even dancing.
Again, I am reminded how I have not chosen to know God but He has chosen me (John 15:16). It is a gift that I know what Christmas is. It is a gift that I get to chose to try to live my life to glorify the Lord. As I sit here I am listening to a favorite Christmas album. I do miss terribly what my usual Christmas feels like. I miss listening to Delilah on the radio. I even miss my own romanticizing of the holidays. I wish I could let the people here experience the joy of an American Christmas.
I am left wondering. What is Christmas supposed to look like? I am not sure it is supposed to look like what we've made it to be in America. I am not sure it is supposed to look like it does (or doesn't) here in Mozambique. I wonder where the in between is? Maybe Christmas really means to live "Christmas" all year around and then singing and dancing on Christmas day.
I am not sure. I am glad I get to see other forms of "Christmas" and I am glad I know the real reason for Christmas. I am glad I have grown to understand what that means even more this year. I don't have the same "I love Christmas" feelings this year but I can say that I love the reason for Christmas more than ever.
Thank you Jesus for being Christmas- no matter where I am.

Praise God

It's raining. I am happy to say that it has been raining for almost 2 days now! It is enough for the people to plant, or replant their seeds (if they have money to buy seeds). It is exactly what they have needed but it is so late. It doesn't help the current famine but it brings hope and work for the people. Thank you for your prayers.
Now, please pray against cholera which often follows in the rainy season. That is the last thing these people need is to lose their family members to cholera.
As you may know, cholera has taken thousands of lives in Zimbabwe. Please pray for them as well. Prayer is all that can change any of this.

"They will survive in hard times; even in famine they will have more than enough." Psalm 37:19

His promises are true.

Recovered

I realize that after notifying a bunch of North Americans that I had malaria I should probably follow up and let you know that I have recovered very well! The last couple days I feel wonderful. Thank you for your prayers and messages. I think God was gracious to me- I wasn't as sick as most people are when they get malaria. I was blessed to be treated quickly and recovered well.
I also want to thank all of you who have sent me wonderful Christmas packages. I would venture to say that our cute little house is probably one of the best Christmas decorated houses in all of Mozambique. As most of the country doesn't know the holiday is coming- Laura and I have many wonderful reminders. We'll both be experiencing our hottest Christmas ever and we are only dreaming of a white Christmas this year!
Tomorrow Laura and I will be off to the coast one last time! We'll enjoy a couple days of reflection on the beach before picking up a new Hands at Work volunteer who will stay on after we leave. It is truly unbelievable that we'll be leaving this place in 1 month!
As the time quickly winds down please pray for a number of things:
*RAIN! Still not a drop- people are starving to death. Carlos said today, "if this many people are suffering already, just think of Jan...Feb...March!" It truly is terrifying.
*All that needs to be wrapped up before we go...
*My heart as I prepare to leave this place behind and all the amazing relationships that I have developed.
*Good health so I can finish well.
*Whatever it is that God would have for me next...
Thank you...I am off to bed. Will write more soon.

For to us a child is born,
To us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9: 6

Praising the names of the Lord in this Season!

Tuesday morning started like any other Tuesday. Laura and I did our morning routines and headed off to our Tuesday gather place to walk in the community making visits with the volunteers. I went with dear sweet Ines. She is one of strongest woman I may ever meet. She walks miles each day, up and down large hills- I have trouble keeping up. This day was no different. We walked to this one woman’s house; I have been to see her a few times recently. As usual the situation is critical and unfortunately, typical. She is sick with tuberculosis and is HIV positive. She is a single mother of 5 children. She is not taking TB treatment or antiretrovirals. As I asked questions, I found that she had been to the hospital last week for malaria. Then she showed me the medication she did have. She had half of the tablets left for her malaria treatment. Malaria treatment consists of taking tablets 2x/day for 3 days. She should not have any tablets remaining. I found myself getting frustrated, even angry. I suppose this isn’t so surprising considering I have seen these desperate situations for many months now. In my frustrated state I asked, “Ines, Why? Why does she still have tablets left?” Ines asked the woman. She responded to me, “She has no food and they make her sick in her stomach.”
Oh. Oh, I thought. Of course. Why would she take them? She feels terrible all the time anyway- TB, HIV, malaria, hunger. Who wouldn’t? And then, we expect her to take these tablets that do what? Make her feel worse.
I said no more.
Over the next few hours this made even more sense.
Walking these hills with the summer sun beating down upon us it was hot, I was sweating. At the next visit we sat in the shade. Suddenly I wasn’t feeling okay. And I was cold! I was shivering! Oh, gosh, something isn’t okay. (To continue with the point of my story, I will skip forward a number of hours.)
By 2 o’clock I myself was laying in bed with malaria. (Don’t worry I didn’t collapse or anything dramatic) By 230pm I myself was taking malaria treatment. By 4pm I felt worse than before taking anything. I now could relate to that woman. I didn’t want to take my own malaria treatment.
Thank you Lord for helping me to emphasize more.

Next...

The malaria ran it’s cycle, my dear friend Fena came to visit me while I was in bed one day. When she arrived I was finishing watching the movie PS I Love You. She and her baby sat and joined me. At one point the woman on the show was crying. I said, “Fena she’s so sad.”
“Why?” Fena inquired.
“Her husband died,” I said.
Raising her eyebrows and nodding in affirmation like only African’s can she said, “hmm.”
A moment of silence passed before she blurted.
“He died from what? Malaria.”
Trying not to chuckle I said, “No Fena, he had a brain tumor.”

Yet another vast contrast of the world I am in here.

(PS: I am feeling much better now!)